Cougar Women is a very hot topic! Meet Samantha Taylor Johnson age 50 director of Fifty Shades Of Grey and her younger husband Aaron Johnson age 27. When they met she was 43 and he was scandalously 19. Her story is an interesting one. They met on the set of her movie “Nowhere Boy” and were married in 2012. I can see why she would want to live life on her terms at this point in her life as she has survived an ugly divorce and beat cancer twice! Aaron came into her life and opened up a new world. Samantha is living her life to the fullest.
I had no idea my post “Can A Christian Woman be a Cougar” would garner so much attention. It seems the idea of dating a younger man has crossed the minds of many women. From celebrities to everyday women, from Christian women to non-Christian women. Conservative business woman Martha Stewart admitted in a TV interview earlier this year that she herself likes and dates younger men. She says she likes to go at least 10 years younger normally.
I was surprised but I thought good for her! Okay ten years, but how young is too young? Young enough to be your son? Same age as your son. Would that creep your kids out? I’ll tell you what is morally incorrect, these women teachers that have been in the news lately for having sex with their students. That’s a crime against a child. However, when it comes to grown men and grown women in a cougar woman/ younger man relationship they’re both adults.
The media has coined the term age-gap or age disparity relationships. Can it last? Is it just about sex? The idea behind the post “Can a Christian Woman be a Cougar” was to answer the question, “Is it okay for Christian women to date a younger man?” When you put it that way it sounds harmless. She’s just dating a younger man. However there are a lot of dynamics at play in this type of relationship. There is much to consider. Is it morally correct?
As a Christian woman being a woman of values, who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong for someone else. The Bible does not say anything against a younger man older woman relationship. I think a woman needs to decides what’s going to work for her and what isn’t. Only she can decide that. As a Christian whatever type of relationship you have should not jeopardize your values.
If you’re a cougar woman, dating a younger man and reading this, how’s it working out for you? There is so much to say about this and we’re going to explore the topic from many different angles. I’m also going to present first hand advice from experienced cougar women who live the lifestyle and let you draw your own conclusions.
Who are Cougar Women?
Typically the Cougar Woman is 40 plus yrs old, established, self-assured women who prefer dating younger men.
Typically divorced, widowed or single. Women in general are living longer. Which means they are healthy and vibrant and still want to have fun. Not all men but often men in the same age range can begin to slow down. A man’s sexual peak is in his 20’s. A woman’s sexual peak can be as late as 40. At this stage their kids are out of the house.
With the numbers of women in business going up every year they are thriving in their careers, and free to date and see whom they wish. The fact is women dating and marrying younger men is a growing trend.
In 2003, 34 percent of women over 40 had dated younger men. That number has risen now to 67%. According to the U.S. Census Bureau 12 percent of marriages are between an older women and younger man. So you’re not alone in your attraction to younger men.
Famous Cougar Relationships
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
Demi and Ashton looked so good together and seem to be having fun. Their relationship burned hot for a while. She gave every older single woman hope that they can be beautiful sexy and attractive to younger men. And at the time he seemed really happy too. Kutcher met Moore when he was 25 and she was 41. They married two years later in September 2005.
Your twenties are a time when you’re figuring out life. Think of how much a person changes between 25 to 35, there are a number of potential issues. At best you’re starting from a disadvantage. Marriage is hard enough under the best circumstances. He filed for divorce, she said the relationship was over in 2011 and in 2014 they were officially divorced. And of course he married a younger woman, Mila Kunis whom he met on “That Seventies Show”.
Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon
Mariah and Nick met in 2008. She was 12 years his senior. They recently divorced in 2015.
Halle Berry was 10 years older than Canadian model Gabriel Aubrey. They split in 2011. They did not marry but had a daughter together.
Sharon Stone is 59 years old, single, twice divorced and often photographed with younger men. She strikes me as the type of woman who would be in control of her relationship with a younger man.
My advice to you is to protect your self emotionally. With men whether he’s younger or not, unless he’s married, sex is just a physical act. But for women it’s emotional, which is the reason women usually wind up being hurt when it ends. So if it’s just about sex your going to get what comes with a “just sexual” relationship. No commitment, and more than likely hurt feelings.
Sex alone is not enough to sustain any relationship with any man no matter his age. Can it last? The reality is some do and some don’t, it’s a risk. The simple truth is there are no guarantees in life. Except the lord Jesus Christ who is the same yesterday today and forever more. He loves and cares for you and doesn’t want to see you hurt by any man.
Since you are the older wiser one, protect yourself emotionally by having the relationship on your own terms. Meaning you see him and spend time with him when you want. You keep control of the relationship! Set boundaries.
There is security in marriage, but again no guarantee, as with any relationship. The relationships that do go the distance are the rare exception.
6 Ways to Protect Yourself Emotionally
Have the relationship with the younger man on your own terms. You see him and spend time when you want.
Keep control of the relationship by setting boundaries. For instance you may not introduce him to your children.
Don’t have unrealistic expectations. He’s not going to have lived as much life as you have.
Although he’s younger, still let him be the man. This might as well start with you because he’s dating an older woman. Let him step up to that level by having him pay for dinner and dates. So it has to be a young man who is working. He doesn’t need to be equal to you because being a younger man he wont be. But you certainly don’t want to be his sugar momma. So I thought the video above brings up a good point by letting him pay for dinner.
Don’t try too hard and don’t chase him. You’re still the prize!
Never abandon your standards or settle just because he’s younger. And never invest in a man of any age simply based on his potential. He should be of proven character and substance. Even if you can afford to spoil him, he should still be a quality person.
- So where do cougars and younger men meet? Meeting online is not the stigma it once was, and today a third of all Americans meet online. More importantly, where should you avoid meeting a younger man? For instance there are reputable sites for serious people looking for long-term committed relationships like Match, E-Harmony, Christian Mingle, and then there are “Hook-Up” sites, stay away from those. For instance, the website below isn’t where you want to look.
The woman is naked in her underwear saying come and get it. Now, a young man who preys on older women is also looking for you to take advantage of you and get money, scam you and God’s knows what else. So just be selective with the sites you choose. A site like the one below seems just about sex. She looks like she’s ready to claw through the screen, grab the young man and eat him whole, Yikes!!
Instead give these types of sites a try that seem to focus more on relationship.
Cougar dating App
Verse of the day:
Thoughts or comments on this post? We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.