How to maintain dignity and power while handling difficult relationships.
Difficult relationships are some of the most stressful situations we can find ourselves in. Have you been in a relationship that made you break all your rules only to be left feeling disappointed and defeated? Have you had a situation where you’ve said, “I never tried this before I meant him”?
When we throw out the rule book so to speak, what we’re really saying is the code which I live by is not important. This person is more important than my own code of ethics. It’s all about having personal standards. People respect other people who have standards and boundaries. It’s the old saying if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything. I heard about a “first date” story the other day which prompted this post.
First of all, the man should plan the date. Guy takes young lady to a nice restaurant, they have great food and pleasant conversation. Next he tells her that the next place he’s going to take her will be a “surprise”. So things have been going well and she trusts him. (sometimes people will bait us in only to have the rug pulled out). The date took place here in California. He took her to a “Secret Sex Club” in Hollywood. You have to know somebody that knows somebody to get in and pay 120 dollars per person . Once you are in anything goes!
She was floored. She had never been to anything like this before. From the outside it looks and sounds like a regular club, pulsating loud music you can hear from the street. She said it was like she had just walked in to Sodom and Gomorrah. There were drag queens everywhere, women having sex with women, men having sex with men, open drug use. The waiter was a gay midget that swings from the ceiling to your table to take your drink order. All this with the loud heavy metal music that would break glass, and couples on the prowl.
He told her it’s insulting to have your clothes on and that they should both get naked. She told him that I’m not having sex with strangers and I’m not having sex with you. She left the club without him and got a cab home. (GOOD Girl) They never saw each other again. This young lady clearly has standards and was not willing to compromise. In life you make your stand up front and people will either fall in line or fall out.
- An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Choose wisely.
- Say goodbye. There are some people who you are going to have to cut ties with in life plain and simple! This is a skill you are going to have to get good at. It’s called “discernment” google it, study it in your Bible. Spiritual discernment, for example is when you meet someone and to your eyes they look good, but your spirit tells you there’s something wrong with them. You’ve done it before, a relationship goes south and you say to yourself, “Something TOLD me not to get involved with this person”. That “something” was the holy spirit the discerner, the helping still small voice of wisdom inside you that warns you.Trouble is some people never quiet themselves long enough to hear what the spirit is saying. That’s why your time with God is so important. Prayer and meditation are essential. I’m expert at saying goodbye. I will give you a complementary gift and travel mug, and tell you don’t let the door hit you in the behind on your way out. It’s not that I’m being mean. It’s that I know who I am, I know where I’m going, and I’m not interested in anyone or anything that ‘s not in line with that.
- Avoid people you know are toxic. (no good for you) If you’re constantly picking the bad boy well that’s what you are going to get, along with all his bad boy ways. Disrespectful, cheating, lies, dating your friends, family, and basically an “I don’t give a crap attitude about anyone but myself”. Is this your idea of A GOOD MAN? If it is then you might consider counseling.
- Surround yourself with positive people. You’re only as good as the resources you draw from.
- Establish boundaries with the men you date. Make it clear to him who he is dealing with. You must know who you are.