The Irresistible Wife

Portrait of young couple having romantic time together at harbor

A recent survey was done by an author with married men who had been married for 10 to 60 years.  The survey was done to uncover what husbands found irresistible about their wives. There are certain things about you that your husband finds secretly irresistible but may not be easy for him to express.  Women have got the whole expressing your feelings thing down.  Men not so much, however his feelings are very real to him.

10 things Men secretly love about their Wives

  1. You affirm him – One of the things your husband finds attractive and lovable about you is that at one time you were and hopefully still are attracted to him.  A man wants to be around a woman who he feels he’s winning with.

  2. You’re a mystery to him – Men still love a challenge.  They don’t want things too complicated. One husband expressed that one of the most profound things that still continues to attract him to his wife is an unsolvable intrigue.  He says he cannot predict how she will be feeling or will react as it depends on what she’s experiencing and feeling in many areas of her life and relationships.  This challenges me to search how I can be the type of husband to meet her emotional needs.  This unpredictability, while burdensome at times actually challenges me at the deepest level of our relationship to pursue her as a love interest.

  3. Your walk with God.  Maya Angelou once said, “that woman’s heart should be so wrapped up in God that her husband has to seek God first to find her.”  When you have an intimate devotional life in Christ being led by the Spirit, your life will produce fruits of the spirit – love, joy, peace, kindness, patience, self control, gentleness, what man doesn’t want to chase after a woman who is truly joyful, and peaceful and faithful?

  4. Your confident glow – What is the opposite of high maintenance? A confident woman who knows who she is and where she’s going. Chances are your husband once found in you a confidence that attracted him to you.  So regardless of how you might feel about your weight, body shape, or whatever, get over it, he has.  He doesn’t analyze or critique your body nearly as much as you do. When you express confidence in your speech, your walk, your body, mannerisms, and your relationship with him, he finds that attractive.

  5. Your initiative.  A wife that initiates well after marriage makes a husband feel loved, pursued, and confident.  Initiate a hug, initiate a back rub, initiate lovemaking.

  6. Your positive attitude – One husband says what he finds most attractive about his wife is her mood and demeanor are almost always pleasant and positive. He says he can always count on a kind word or smile when he walks through the door. When a man can count on a kind word or smile when he comes through the door he will anticipate coming home more often.

  7. Your partnership – While your husband has interests and passions that are different than yours, he loves it when you join him in his passion once in a while.  This also works both ways.

  8. Your dependability – In a world where 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce. Your dependability and steadfast commitment to your husband is something he values more than you know.  One husband said his wife has never considered that they would not be able to solve a problem together. He loves this about her.  Sometimes in order for things to change we have to change the way we see things.

  9. Your difference – Its been said that a woman marries a man hoping she will change him.  A man marries a woman hoping she will never change.  It’s true.  The last thing a husband wants is for his wife to change.  He likes the way you are different from him and the way you balance him out. Steve, married for ten years says,“All the things I find attractive about my wife stem from one thing, her ability to do things i can’t.  I rely on her a lot to help me be a more functional person as I get older.  I better understand what I’m good at and what I need her to help me with.  So her ability to do things like shop for people remember birthdays, cook, dress herself and me very well, make the house a home, smooth over social situations, keep in touch with friends.  I find her differences very attractive.”

  10. Your ability to flirt well after marriage – It’s a lot like being the cheerleader and seeing him as the football star.  Reminding him of something you admire in him or telling him something that he’s great at that you love, ( which goes back to affirming him)  Husbands love that ego boost especially from their wives.  Yet they will rarely admit it.  As you exude the confidence that comes from being a woman as unique and different as you are it is one of the things that make you truly attractive and enticing to your man.





couple by fire

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