The backbone of a submissive wife is her obedience to God
What does the word Submissive mean?
And what does it mean to be a submitted wife?
The word submissive simply put means “Strength under control”. What does it mean to be a submissive wife? It’s a wife submitting to the biblical leadership of the husband, placed on him by Christ. The wife is submitted and the husband is committed to her. Happy, healthy, and whole. But more importantly this is the order of Christ. God has an order, called Divine Order.
What is a committed Husband?
A committed husband is one who edifies (builds up) his wife. He respects honors, and supports his wife, gives dignity to her. He gives great attention to her desires and endeavors to accommodate her. He desires her contentment and happiness as much as his own and goes out of his way to insure her fulfillment which is his foremost desire. This is not a male female issue. It speaks to God’s order of the family.
What is the primary threat to this orderly process?
It’s not money, its not adultery, or children. Those are the symptoms. It’s self fulfillment. The pursuit of personal fulfillment. It is a fad among us that has become a sickness at best and a sin at worst. Preoccupation with self is a giant step in the wrong direction. The reason for the breakdown in many marriages is people are demanding more and more and giving less and less. You are more fulfilled as a person when you live to fulfill others. 2 timothy 3:2 “in the last days people will become lovers of themselves.”
Next, let’s dispel some misconceptions ingrained in your mind by the secular world.
Straightaway when a less informed woman hears the word submissive, she thinks, doormat, weak, husband gets to walk all over his wife. WRONG! God would never allow this. The husband is held accountable for his actions by God
- Misconception: “A submissive person is weak.” Actually it’s quite the contrary. Often submissive Women are strong capable women like myself who have LEARNED what it means to be submissive to her husband in a Godly way. Since they are women who are used to being in control, this is a concept that I have had to learn, it didn’t just come natural. You must master this.
- Misconception: “A submissive wife has no control.” Submission is an act of will. A submissive wife makes a positive choice to commit to her husband in keeping with God’s order.
- Misconception: “Submission is degrading.” Submission is a very beautiful gift that only a strong person can give. Nobody is degraded by giving or wanting to give.
- Misconception: “A submissive woman is a slave.” WRONG! She is a helpmate. The reason God created woman from the side of a man is to walk alongside her husband. Not in back of him, and not in front, but at his side. Everything God does is for a reason and you have to learn to trust him. The wife that robs her husband his right to headship robs herself and her children of God’s intended blessings.
The Healthy Submissive
- The healthy submissive is capable of intense joy especially in the context of a sustaining relationship.
- The Healthy submissive finds significant relaxation when properly related. She is at ease in that place.
- The healthy submissive is capable of and thrives on intense, intimate, emotionally secure relationships.
- The healthy submissive has a fluidity of self, a flexibility that enables her to adapt to changing circumstances
- The healthy submissive accepts herself as she is, knowing that while her culture values independence and self sufficiency, she has strong dependency needs and there is no inherent “wrongness” about those needs. God gave her those needs. That’s why she is “Woman” counterpart to the man.
- The healthy submissive has a reasonable self concept, aware of her difficulties as well as her strengths.
- The healthy submissive, in accepting herself as is, is tolerant of others. But neither will she allow anyone to tell her what her truth should be.
- The healthy submissive is proud of her accomplishments.
- The healthy submissive has a finely tuned interpersonal sensitivity. She is reactive to subtle shifts in the emotional tones of others.
- The healthy submissive is playful.
- The healthy submissive’s hunger is to be the object of an intense and penetrating understanding. When her nature is understood and she is held in a loving and firm frame, her devotion is almost limitless. She has an enormous capacity for devotion from which springs her service.
- The healthy submissive is loyal and trustworthy.
The husband and wife relationship intended by God
- Sacrificing – a deliberate attitude of mind that genuinely concerns itself with the well being of another.
- Sanctifying – means set apart. The marriage is set apart for God’s use.
- Satisfying – when we are loved and accepted it brings a satisfaction to both partners.