Love vs. Lust

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Women of God, the power is in your hands to choose this day what kind of life you want for yourself.  As His daughter God wants the best for you which is His ordained institution of marriage.  A life partner to share the rest of your life with.  A husband to cover you and cherish you, a father to your children, a family unit being led by God.  Anything less, you are selling yourself short.  How many times will you go back around the same mountain of falling in lust with someone you’ve just met, dating them and sleeping with them.  And then the relationship fizzles out after a couple of months or sooner, then you repeat the cycle again and say, “there’s no good men out there.”  I beg to differ.  Now granted in this selfish “me” generation we live in it’s harder to find the right man.   Which is all the more reason not to,  ” throw your pearls before swine”, Mathew 7:6

The Bible says a good woman’s price is far above rubies, more precious than gold.  But if you don’t see yourself in that way you won’t rise to the high level of your calling.  Plain and simple do not sleep with anyone who is not married to you.  He has not earned the right.  You are the prize!!!  Make him work for it and if he’s not willing to work for it, he’s not for you!  Next!  You have to be strong enough to hold your peace and your emotions until the right one that God has for you comes along.  It never works out when you sleep with a guy too soon.  Number one men are conquers, and once they’ve conquered you, they’re done.  Number two, when you sleep with a person before commitment you break the connection.

You’re tired of waiting for, “The ONE”, so you settle for the world’s notion of ,”friends with benefits”.  If you’re not married there are no benefits. When I first met my man he said, “this is what we’re going to do”,  it was HIS idea to wait.  So before I could even lay down the law to him, he told me, and I thought “wow”, (thank you God), I have a man that wants to honor me.  That told me everything about him in that instant.  I knew he was a true man of God standing before my eyes and that I had a “real man” on my hands!  So I was like okay, let’s get this party started.  Because “I am a wife” looking for a proper channel to give my love to.  Abstinence does not exclude affection.  Of course there are going to be hugs and kisses, holding one another in each other’s arms, massages. We experienced intimacy on a deep emotional level without sex.

Most people think intimacy means sex, no.  It means closeness.  There’s more kinds of love than physical love.  It starts with you, because you’re the one that’s in charge of whether or not sex happens.  Pure Lust is based solely on physical attraction and fantasy.  It often dissipates when the “real” person surfaces.  It’s the stage of wearing rose-colored glasses when he or she can do no wrong.  In the early stages of a relationship when sex hormones are raging, lust is fueled by idealization and projection.  You see what you hope someone will be or what you need them to be rather than seeing the real person and in reality you are deceiving yourself.  On the other hand being in love doesn’t exclude lust.  In fact lust can lead to love.  However, “real love” not based on idealization or projection and requires time to grow as you get to know each other.

How to tell if it’s Lust or Love            love-lust

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Signs of Lust

  • You’re totally focused on a person’s looks and body
  • You’re lovers but not friends
  • You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level rather than discuss real feelings
  • Your inner voice, (wisdom) says “danger”, “beware”, (women like to flirt with danger until they are burned).
  • Your attraction feels destructive or dark
  • Your uncomfortable with how this person is treating you but you’re afraid if you say something it will push them away. (Stand up for yourself and let him go!)

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Signs of Love

  • He is willing to invest the time it takes to get to know you
  • It’s important to him that you meet his parents
  • He motivates you to be a better person
  • He is willing to wait for sexual intimacy until marriage
  •  You want to spend quality time with this person in a consistent courtship
  • You spend countless hours getting lost in conversation
  • This person has convinced you that they have your best interest at heart

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