Archive | March 2016

10 Rules of Marriage

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Verse Of the Day:

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Coming Up in April:

  • How to dress for professional success

  • Fully Alive submission

  • Co-dependent relationships

  • Secrets of successful homemaking

  • Letting go of emotional baggage

  • In sickness and in health

  • Creative date nights

  • Finding great side jobs online

  • How to stop emotional eating

  • The #1 thing a Christian woman should look for in a man

  • Alternatives to straight sex for married couples Naughty or Nice

  • And Much More!

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Finding Mr. Right

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It is my wish that every woman find the fulfilling relationship her heart desires.  Have you had a string of one-time dates never to be called back again?  And you think to yourself he was a flake, there’s no good men out there, they can’t handle a strong independent woman.  Without ever considering there’s something you’re doing wrong.  I had to identify the mistakes I was making in my life in order to move forward and be ready to accept and recognize the man God had for me when he came along.

Don’t let your pride trick you into thinking that you’re not making any mistakes.  So many  women struggle with relationships without understanding what they’re doing wrong.  It can be frustrating to feel like you can’t make things work when you are trying so hard.  Are you sabotaging your love life by making one of these mistakes?  Be open to learning what they are so you can change them. Let’s dive right in.

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  1. No more needy vibe that pushes men away.  Get a life.  Someone from the outside looking in should be so intrigued with your life that they want to be a part of it.  When you have all your hopes and dreams wrapped up in one guy you become obsessed waiting for every phone call.  You jump when he says jump, always available for him.  You tell him you want more time, you’re constantly calling or texting.  Suddenly you’ve just changed from the attractive interesting woman who intrigued him to a clingy, needy woman he feels pressured by.  Stop over-investing too quickly.

  2. No more pushy vibe that pushes men away.  A man asks what are you looking for?  You tell him a husband and kids,(Yikes).  Please don’t do this.  What he’s referring to is your requirements, what are you looking for in a man.  Things like, you’re looking for a man who knows how to treat a woman.  You’re looking for a man whose educated and intellectual.  You’re looking for a man who takes care of himself health wise because you are into working out.  The fact that you want a husband and two kids, those are you WANTS.  And you will never have your wants fulfilled until you identify the things you need from a man i.e. your requirements.  There’s a difference between wants and requirements.

  3. Keep options open.  Once you meet a man you really like you tend to dive right in.  You want to give your heart, mind, and very soul to the man.  You give a man your exclusivity before the man gives you the commitment that you want.  When we close off our options with other men too soon you close the door on YOUR options.  Start dating many men until you get the commitment you want from the right man.  Now having said that dating multiple men does NOT mean having sex with ANY of them.  What it means is exploring your options.  Men rarely date one woman at a time. Exclusivity comes with a commitment.

  4. You undervalue yourself.  Some women put up with unacceptable behavior just to have a man.  Or chase after bad boys, or worse, men who are unavailable.  If you notice any of these behaviors in yourself it’s a sign that you need to value yourself if you want to be successful in relationships. First of all you should not be chasing after anyone.  You are the prize and they should be chasing you.  You may feel like you’re not enough, or no one can love you as you are, these are issues that need to be resolved on your own within yourself.  I’m confident that you are deserving of respect and love from someone who loves you.

  5. Your overly masculine and don’t appreciate men.  I believe in feminism and independence.  But believing in those things doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate things men do for you or try to do for you.  In any relationship we want to feel needed by the other person.  He tries to open the door for you, you tell him “I can do that myself”, he opens the car door for you, you tell him I don’t need you to do that.  Stop it.  These are things that a gentleman does, a real man.  And that is exactly what you want, because the opposite of a gentleman is a jerk.
    My husband makes me wait for him to come around and open my door before we can proceed. Sometimes if we’re going to the store or something I may have other things on my mind like the grocery list.  And trying not to forget what we need and when we pull up.  I may just jump out of the car, and he will give me the look, and I’m like oh, sorry honey.  Maybe you go out to dinner and you insist on slapping down your credit card on the table.  After all you’re an independent woman and you want to show him you can do it.  This is a masculine vibe.  Know your role and understand it.  Men initiate women respond.


  6. You look for a man to complete you.  If you are waiting for or dependent upon a relationship to make you feel confident or to make you happy, it’s always going to be out of reach because you cannot put that responsibility on someone else.  The law of attraction is you don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.  If you’re a confident, carefree, happy woman loving life, upbeat and positive, men are going to see that and be attracted to it.  Why wouldn’t a man be attracted to a woman like that.

  7. You don’t understand men.  Men at their core are initiators, leaders, protectors, and problem solvers.  They want to be needed and they love being the hero.  If you reject these qualities, he’s going to find someone who accepts those qualities.

  8. You have unrealistic expectations.  You want to get married and have 2.5 kids within 6 months to a year.  You’re setting yourself up for failure.  It takes at least a year to get to know someone.  Slow down.  Do you care more about your wants than establishing a fulfilling relationship?

  9. You compare your relationships to others.  You think your girlfriend has a great relationship that you admire.  Maybe her guy is a doctor, or at a certain income base that you find attractive and every man you meet has to be measured by this standards.  Exodus 20:17, “Thou shall not covet your neighbor’s goods, their house, their husband, or anything else”.  You cannot live someone else’s life.  God has a chosen path for each of us, and when you compare you become discontent with your own life.  What you can do is be prepared when God brings the right man into your life and make your life the best it can possibly be.

  10. You try to change him.  This is the age-old scenario.  You see a guy for what he is completely and it’s bad.  Rather than get a guy that suits your needs, you try to change the one that doesn’t. Only God can change a person.  What you do is invest your energy in some one you are compatible with.  Stop wasting time.

  11. You don’t communicate.  Be clear about what you expect from a man.  You have every right to know where you stand.  You have every right to know what his intentions are toward you.  If it turns out that the two don’t match up, don’t be afraid to tell him I think we’re at two different stages in our life and I owe it to myself to find someone whom I’m compatible with that suits me.  I wish you well.  Done. Next.

  12. You make an issue of your clock.  You’re pushing 30 yrs of age or over 30.  There’s a switch in your mind that has been turned on telling you that you need to need to get pregnant and have a family right away or your whole life is over.  And what’s more when go on dates, you tell the man about how loud your biological clock is ticking.  And you’re looking to remedy that situation as soon as possible.  Please stop doing this.  You are never going to find a partner this way.  First of all no man wants to feel like he’s just a sperm donor.  Second of all never let them see you sweat.  What you are really saying when you tell him this is, I don’t care about you, don’t care about getting to know you, “I need to get pregnant by next week”!  Do you know what he’s going to do?   He’s going to clock out!

 

  • There are great eligible men out there you have to play your cards right.

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Verse Of the day:

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For Richer Or Poorer

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8 Ways  to deal with Financial Setbacks

  1. Fight the battles of Life with your husband rather than fight against him.  Trust me if he is a God-fearing man he feels bad enough.  Do not compound that with negative fearful talk or make him feel less than a man.  Proverbs 14:1,  “The Wise woman builds her house, but with her hands the foolish woman tears it down.”  Remember, you’re in this for the long haul, not just for the good times and you’ve taken vows to that effect.

  2. Ultimately, learn to trust God for your finances.  God is your source for all things. Philippians 4:19, “My God shall supply all my needs according to his riches in Glory.”  3 John 1:2,  “Beloved I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.”  However, this does not mean you won’t go through faith building times as a couple.

  3. Accept responsibility for  your part.  If you’re living above your means and spending as fast as it’s made and never give a thought to saving, then you have habits that need to change.  Don’t spend tomorrow’s prosperity today.  I’m lucky that my husband is good with his money as he has been since a boy.  He was a worker and a saver.  Bought his own car at 16 brand new not used with no help from his parents.  That diligence has followed him till today.  Have we had financial setbacks?  Absolutely, nobody is exempt.  It’s how you handle it that makes the difference.  He’s like an accountant, he’s got his note pad and pen and he’s running the numbers.  I’m proud of him. I’m also practical.  I’m also a woman, I like to shop, I like nice things, etc…  But you have to realize when cutbacks are necessary.  He said to me during a financial setback, I like that you’re practical and down to earth in your thinking, and you’ve been patient.  Don’t put more problems on him.  He will have a much better attitude if he knows you are with him.

  4. Pause and think clearly.  A financial setback can be emotionally devastating.  Let the initial waves of anger, grief, sadness and fear dissipate before making any big decisions.

  5. Formulate a workable plan and stick to your guns.  You can’t dig out by piling more on. Consider where you can back.  Consider what you can do without for a while.  Priorities come first the rest will have to wait.  Maybe this means a few months without shopping, maybe it means cutting out eating out for a few months.  Perhaps cutting back on daily habits, such as Starbucks, cigarettes, lottery, whatever you have to do to get where you need to be. Focus on what’s important. Hang on in there, you can do this, and come out the other side happier and better for what the experience teaches you.

  6. Surrender your fears to the Lord.  2 Timothy 1:7, “God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.”


  7.  Be wise with your money. Proverbs 17:16, says, “what good is money in the hands of a fool if they have no desire to seek wisdom.”


  8.  Be Content with what you have.”  Hebrews 13 :5.  Does that mean that we never strive for more?  No.  It means be content in this moment knowing that your situation can and will change.  I heard lots of married couples talk about how things are different now than when they started out. They say when we started we didn’t have any thing or we had very little.  Today we are a wealthy couple or very well off.  Just because things are a certain way right now doesn’t mean that the way it always will be.  (the devil is a liar) Luke 6:10,  says, “one who is faithful in very little will also be faithful in much.”  And Never forget to always be thankful!

 

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Verse of the day: NIV  “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”

 

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20 Reasons why a Wife doesn’t want to have Sex

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I do not believe that any new bride had intentions of avoiding or depriving her man of sex when she said yes to his proposal.  But something has happened in their marriage.  There is a breakdown of some sort that is causing her to turn away from being intimate with him.  There are some areas in our life that we have control over and some that we do not.  But nevertheless sexual intimacy is the thing that sets our relationships with our husbands apart from any other relationship.  Regardless of our problems, this is not an area we want to intentionally neglect because if we do, then that will bring a host of other issues into our marriage.

This breakdown could be for a number of reasons

  • Some are directly related to her man

  • Some are related to the pressures and demands of family life

  • Some can be related to body image issues, prior sexual sin, or abuse

  • Some reasons can be the female body experiencing pain limitations or hormone imbalances

  • Mental Issues

 

  • She has issues related to her man

Avoiding sex and telling your husband that you have a headache is not going to make your marriage any better.  In fact it will cause more problems to arise.  Sex is designed to bring you and your husband closer together.  The marriage bed is the place to strengthen your one flesh union.  There’s a reason God says not to forsake the marriage bed.  It’s for our benefit and protection.

  1. Her husband is rude and insensitive.  What woman in her right mind would want to get naked and sleep with a rude self-centered man?  I know I wouldn’t.  Frankly, women don’t walk down the aisle to get married to man like that.  The way you treat a woman outside the bedroom will affect your relationship inside the bedroom.

  2.  She’s lost respect for him for a number of reasons

  3. She no longer trusts him.  Trust is a lot harder to regain after it has been lost.

  4. Sex is no longer enjoyable to her.   A woman’s body changes after pregnancy.  Or the block can be a mental one.

  5.  She feels emotionally disconnected from him.  Feeling emotionally disconnected from your man can be from any number of reasons, arguments, fights, not being on the same page.  She feels like she’s not appreciated or heard.

  6. Bitterness has grown in her heart towards him.  When a woman feels emotionally wounded time and time again, bitterness grows.

  7.  Infidelity.  This one is a no brainer.  If you’re caught cheating or suspected of it, it’s going to ruin your sex life.

  8. Pregnant and no longer interested in sex.  Although sex is perfectly healthy for a pregnant woman up to a certain point, some women just lose interest.

  9. His hygiene.  Both parties expect for their spouses to be clean and well-groomed.

  • She is focused on family life

After you marry it’s common for your focus to shift a bit.  For some, you entered into the world of motherhood rather quickly.  That’s the reason I suggest with newly married couples to not be in such a hurry or feel pressure from your parents to have kids straightaway.  Take some time with each other to strengthen your marital bond before the kids come.  Because once they do things are going to change.

For other wives you may be focusing on a career, raising teens, handling a blended family, taking care of aging parents etc…  You are now wearing more than just the “wife” hat.  Perhaps you feel more like the cook, the maid, taxi driver, etc…  It’s hard to shift gears into feeling like a wife within minutes of an overwhelming and exhausting day.  But the good thing about these issues is that you do have control over them, and it’s most likely the easiest to fix.  Knowing your roles and putting them in proper Biblical order is the key here, and every mom needs prayer.

10. She is stressed and or worried.  Kids and or financial worries consume her mind so she is not in the mood.  It’s the job of the husband to make sure the wife has as few worries as possible.


11. Her children sleep in her bed.  It’s not good for your children, or your marriage, for your children to become dependant on sleeping in your bed.  You can control this by putting a stop to it. And don’t let your kids guilt trip you into thinking you’re doing something wrong.


12. She’s nursing and doesn’t want another human being on her, her focus is the baby.  Many times women become consumed with a newborn.


13. She has a to do list which is long enough and sex is not on there.   A woman’s tasks can get exhausting.  But prioritizing your marriage is the key.


14. She puts all of her energy into the children and the house, and none on herself and feels undesirable.  Do not neglect yourself as woman.


15. She is dealing with her own inner demons.   She feels guilt or shame from past sexual experiences or abuse.


16. She feels insecure about her body, whether warranted or unwarranted.


 

  • She has Physical Issues

If you’re dealing with physical problems then be diligent to seek out medical guidance so that your body can be fixed and somewhat restored.  I say somewhat restored because let’s face it our bodies are never the “same” after having kids.  You cannot go back, but you can receive the medical care that you need to have the best quality of life possible.  If you’re one of those women where pregnancy was great for you, no issues, no problems and you feel better than ever praise God!  That’s wonderful, however each woman is different.  Sometimes a woman’s problems are not physical, they are mental.  In which case you need to seek out a medical psychiatrist if you care about maintaining marriage and family.  No it is not an easy thing, but there is help and hope for your mental needs.

17. Sex is painful


18. She is chronically sick


19. She has a low sex drive


20. She has mental issues, and is not mentally healthy


 

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Verse of the Day; 1 Corinthians 7:5, “Do not deprive each other of sexual relations unless you both agree to sustain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward you should come together again so that satan won’t be able to tempt you because of a lack of self control.”

 

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How to Manage Infertility

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Heads bowed eyes closed let’s pray.  Whether it’s you as a couple that has an infertility problem or a friend or family member that needs your prayers.  “God we come before you humbly, asking in your infinite wisdom to bring peace to couples going through this difficult period in their lives.  God only you know the plans you have for their life.  Give them hope and quiet their souls and strengthen their relationships, in the name of Jesus, Amen.”  Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”  Psalm 46: 10, “Be still and know that I am God.”

What is Infertility?

Infertility means not being able to get pregnant after one year of trying. (or six months if the woman is 35 years or older).  Women who get pregnant but are unable to stay pregnant may also be infertile.

Pregnancy is a result of a process that has many steps. In order to get pregnant:

  • A woman’s body must release an egg from one of her ovaries (ovulation)
  • The egg must go through a Fallopian tube toward her uterus ( womb)
  • A man’s sperm must join with, ( fertilize), the egg along the way
  • The fertilized egg must attach to the inside of the uterus ( implantation)

Infertility can happen if there is a problem with any one of these steps

Upset couple finding out results of a pregnancy test

Upset couple finding out results of a pregnancy test

Is Infertility a common problem?

Yes.  About 10% of women, (6.1 million) in the United States ages 15-44 have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant, according to the CDC, Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

What causes infertility in women?

Most  causes of female infertility are caused by problems with ovulation.  Without ovulation there are no eggs to be fertilized.  One sign that a woman is not ovulating normally include irregular or absent menstrual periods.  Ovulation problems are often caused by (PCOS) Poly cystic ovarian syndrome.  PCOS is a hormone imbalance problem which can interfere with normal ovulation.  POI is another cause of ovulation problems.  POI occurs when a woman’s ovaries stop working normally before she is 40.  POI is not the same as early menopause.

Other causes less common in women are:

  • Blocked fallopian tubes
  • Physical problems with uterus
  • Uterine fibroids

What things increase a woman’s risk of infertility?

  • Age
  • Smoking
  • Excessive alcohol use
  • Poor diet
  •  stress
  • Athletic training
  • Sexually transmitted infections
  • Health problems that cause hormonal changes

It is a good idea for any woman to talk to a doctor before trying to get pregnant.  Doctors can help you get your body ready to have a healthy baby.  They can also answer questions and give tips on conceiving.

Is infertility just a woman’s problem?

No.  Both men and women can have problems that cause infertility.  About one-third of infertility  cases are caused by women’s problems.  Another one-third are due to the man.  The other cases are caused by a mixture of both the man and the woman’s problems, or by unknown problems.

What causes infertility in men?

  • Varicocele.  Pronounced (vair-ih-koh-seel)  This happens when the veins on a man’s testicles are too large.  This heats the testicles.  The heat can affect the number or shape of the sperm.
  • Factors that cause a man to make too few sperms or none at all ( Low sperm Count)
  • Movement of the sperm.  Injuries or other damage to the reproductive system block the sperm

What  increases a man’s risk of infertility?

  • Heavy alcohol use
  • Drugs
  • Smoking cigarettes
  • Environmental toxins including pesticides and lead
  • Health problems, such as, mumps, kidney disease, or hormone problems
  • medications
  • Age
  • Radiation treatment

These are the medical and scientific answers.  Then there is the percentage of the unknown where a couple may be seemingly healthy and still unable to conceive.  That’s where medical science ends and God steps in who is the inventor and controller of your reproductive health.  As Christians we must lean on God for the answers when we are unable to figure things out on our own.  It is important to know in cases like this God is not punishing you.  He has a unique plan for your life.  Isaiah 55:9, “My ways are not your ways my thoughts are higher than your thoughts as far as the heavens are from the earth.”  So where the doctor falls short, you have to consult the one that has knowledge of ALL things.  God uses the “..simple things to confound the wise.”  1 Corinthians 1:27.  What He’s saying here is you don’t know it all.  But one thing is for sure God has a plan.

  • Click the video below

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6 All Natural Fertility Promoters

  1. Chiropractic Care for infertility.  Chiropractic care is based on the wellness of the entire body, not simply treating one symptom with a drug, or surgery as we often do today.  According to the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association, ( ICPA) research shows that any misalignment in the spinal column can impact nerve impulses.  It’s vital to have a healthy spine in order to have a healthy reproductive system.

  2. Decrease your exposure to toxins.  We live in a world with far too many toxins polluting our insides.  They can alter hormones in your body with detrimental effects.  Some plastics are a risk for certain cancers.  Anything you put on your skin will be absorbed into the bloodstream.  It’s important to check your soaps, shampoos, creams and lotions for dangerous toxins.  You can rate many of your products on the Cosmetic Safety databasee.

  3. Exercise to balance hormones.  From the release of the egg to the condition of the sperm and it’s ability to reach and fertilize the egg, hormones play a role in just about every process when it comes to conception.

  4. Healthy diet to balance hormones.  What we eat contributes to our body’s chemistry, in particular our hormones.  Avoid sugars, especially refined, highly processed and unhealthy fats like rancid vegetable oils.  You have to eat healthy when planning to conceive.  Would you give your one year old a greasy cheeseburger with fries?

  5. Decrease Stress.   If you’re stressed out your cortisol levels are elevated which leads to not only infertility but all sorts of other physical and mental problems.

  6. Supplement with GLA.  Once you’ve made sure to follow the 5 above steps to balance your hormones and clear your body of unwanted toxins, you can look at adding GLA, Gamma-linolenic acid to your daily regime.  This omega 3 fatty acid has been shown to increase the production of cervical mucus a factor in successful reproduction.

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Get Proactive!

Through Social media you can start a faith-based support group to raise awareness, garner support, and stay strong during this process.  Knowing that you’re not alone going through this will go a long way to keeping mentally and emotionally strong.  It can be an encouragement for women, couples, or both.  Share your story, hear others, encourage one another.  Share information that you have learned.  Avoid the trap of isolating yourself during this period.  Make it social.  Do a once a month meeting at your home, and take turns with the other women hosting at their homes.  Serve light snacks and beverages. Keep the goal in mind to support one another regardless of the outcome.

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Unfortunately sometimes the fact that a woman cannot conceive can be a blessing in disguise because for whatever reason giving birth could cause her harm.  In which case a surrogate mom may be needed. You’ve heard of cases where the baby survived and the mother did not.

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       Verse of the day:    iphone-background-romans-8-1

Happy Good Friday good-friday

Happy  Easter Weekend Happy-Easter-Bunny-2013

 

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