Archive | April 2016

Affirmation

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Your Big Day

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The most Important day in a Woman’s life, her wedding day.  Your Big Day!  You want everything to be perfect and go off without a hitch.  Weddings are beautiful they are important, they are impressive.  They are emotional and often very expensive.  We cry at weddings and laugh at weddings.  We take care to be at the right place at the right time and say the right words.  Where people stand is important.  The way people dress is significant.  Every detail, candle, flower is memorable.

The wedding is the easy part.  It’s Marriage that’s going to take work.  It’s not for the faint of heart.  In marriage we work out every detail of the promises and commitments spoken at the wedding.  It’s after the wedding the real work begins.  The wedding is her fairytale day.  That should be exactly as she wants it.  The long and rich life of faithful love that the wedding announces.  The event of the wedding without the life of the marriage doesn’t amount to much.  You share a daily love, a continuing tenderness, attentive listening, inventive giving, a creative blessing shared between two souls in an everlasting union.

You pray that the spirit of commitment and love shall sustain itself for the rest of your lives.  To have as smooth a day as possible, careful planning of the details will be your best friend.  Depending on the size of your wedding i.e. (guestlist), you may need a wedding planner for 100 or more people. Wedding planners can be a god send they know their stuff.  With smaller weddings 50 or less guests, you can save yourself the expense of a planner and plan the wedding yourself with the help of the maid of honor and or bridal party.  I really enjoyed planning the details of my wedding myself.  I’m the type of woman that has a clear vision of what I want so there was no way I’d hire a planner.  I love the details. You spend months planning, when the big day finally arrives, breathe, slow down, and enjoy every single moment.  It’s your Big Day!

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In 2016 more and more brides are opting to purchase their wedding gown online.  Many will think it’s a risky decision.  You can’t try it on, you can’t feel the fabric, and you can’t see how it moves.  Despite this many brides are finding the idea appealing and are turning to the internet in increasing numbers to buy their wedding dresses.  Perhaps there’s not enough variety in your local salon.  Maybe you don’t want to deal with pushy salespeople.  Or perhaps the deals are simply better online.  Brides today want the dress of their dreams at a price they can afford.  With such an important purchase here are some things to keep in mind.

  • Know your body type.  Get measured.  Begin by knowing how your bust, waist, and hips are in proportion to each other.  That way you can easily eliminate, silhouettes, necklines and waistlines, that don’t flatter your figure, no matter how pretty they look on the model.

  • Go Try Dresses on.  Even if you’re purchasing online.  Get a feel for what fabrics, styles, and colors and embellishments flatter your body type.

  • Take advantage of customization options.  Want an Ivory dress instead of pure white?  A longer train, straps, need a plus size dress?  These options are often available to you when you purchase online.  Keep in mind that the extras cost so budget accordingly.

  • Find a tailor you can trust.  Buying direct from a bridal salon?  Chances are your gown may need some tweaking to fit you like a glove on your big day.  It’s important that you get someone experienced and reputable.

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  • The Dress

Besides wanting to look beautiful on her big day a wedding dress serves as a totemic garment, symbolic of a major event and a pretty big deal in every culture.  You will likely have many pictures taken in it.  And maybe even save it for your daughter or granddaughter.  There are very few other types of garments that are fraught with such significance.  The first thing you’ll do is choose which style of wedding dress you want to wear.

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Ball Gown

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  • The Hair

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  • The Bridal shower

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  • The Bachelorette Party Limo

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  • Wedding Locale, church, outdoors, beach . . .

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  • The reception venue

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  • The Cake

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  • Gifts

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  • Celebrating with family and friends

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Happy Newlyweds in Front of Mansion --- Image by © Greg Hinsdale/Corbis

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5 Tips for a Smooth Wedding Day

  1. Make a timetable for the morning of.  The morning of your wedding is a  hectic one to say the least.  Hair, makeup, breakfast, bouquet, and breathing.  The trick to making the hustle and bustle more exciting and less stressful is to make out a short time table and stick to it.  It’s handy to have a notebook, especially for larger weddings for important numbers of vendors and suppliers, entertainment.  Ideally your maid of honor should handle these details so that you can concentrate on making your big entrance.

  2. Give directions with the invitations.  Even when you email or send an invite with directions someone’s going to get lost.  It may be a good idea to put a number on the invitations next to the directions.  In case guest are lost they can call someone from the wedding party to help them out.  Not you!  You have enough to do already.

  3. Assign someone to take care of gifts and cards.  You don’t want to be lugging all your gifts and cards with you on your honeymoon you’ll need to assign someone this task.

  4. Ask guest to arrive earlier than the starting time of the wedding. If the wedding starts at 3 pm.  Ask guest to arrive by 2 pm for cocktails and hors d’oeuvres.  This will avoid late stragglers, and give plenty of time for socializing and seating before the ceremony.

  5. Keep the kids entertained.  Unfortunately kids have not yet developed the social graces to attend an event where they have to sit still for long periods of time.  They will be restless.  Depending on the venue you can ask the wedding coordinator if there is a room that the kids can go play in.  Or you might want to hire a professional to keep the kids entertained.  You may want to make up some goodie bags with toys as treats for them.

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  •  The Honeymoon 

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Click the link below to see my big day!

A peek at my wedding day!

 

Verse of the day: Psalm 1:3, “He shall be as a tree planted by the rivers of water that bringeth forth fruit in its season whose leaf shall not wither and whatever I do shall prosper.”

 

In Sickness and in Health

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The challenges that life can present have the potential of bringing you closer or tearing you apart.  It’s in those times where you must draw on your faith in God and the commitment that you made before God to love your spouse in sickness and in health.  Flexibility and openness along with good communication between the two of you are keys to remaining close to one another during times of sickness and chronic illness.  I feel like this is the time to really dive in and show your spouse what you are made of!

Caring for a spouse in times of illness is a very honorable and loving thing to do that strengthens a relationship.  Anyone can be around when things are going well.  It doesn’t take any faith for that.  But you know you have a good strong partner when someone is willing to go through the rough times with you.   No one said it would be easy.  But we can do all things through Christ.  Both spouses will have to learn how to cope with many feelings and realities.  Some days will be good days.  Some days will be bad days.  Everyday without a break for you as the caregiver will be tiring.  So as the healthier spouse and caregiver take care to treat yourself well during these difficult times.

 

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The feelings and realities associated with Chronic Illness in a Marriage

  • Grief

  • Fear

  • Denial

  • Isolation

  • Anxiety over money problems medical bills

  • Parenting concerns

  • Helplessness

  • Uncertainty about the future

  • Depression

  • Sexual fears

  • Sense of feeling trapped

  • Guilt

 

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   Coping Strategies for the well Spouse

 

  • You must still do things to keep yourself and the both of you sane.  The worrying will drive you crazy.  Cast your care and place it in God’s hands.  You can still have date night right there at the hospital bed, play a game of cards, watch a movie anything to feel normal.

  • Get away regularly even if it’s just for a walk around the block to get fresh air.

  • Take time to pursue things that renew you.

  • Develop a strong support network don’t be afraid to ask for help.

  • Create a balance between love and independence.

  • Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Don’t put your own health issues on the back burner because your spouse is ill.

  • Don’t try to do everything yourself.  Accept that there are things you can’t do and need the help of a professional.


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As Christ loved the church

 

Verse of the day: Isaiah 44:3,  “I will pour water on the thirsty land and streams on the dry ground.  I will pour out my spirit on your offspring and my blessings on your descendants.”

 

Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  

The Secret sex lives of Conservative Christian Women

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OMG, you mean to tell me a Christian woman can be sexy, adventurous, and desired by her husband?  And God is not mad at me for having a sexually fulfilling life with my husband?  I can still be a “nice Christian woman” and love sex too.  God is the creator of sex and pleasure, and marriage.  I think He is way ahead of you on this one.  God created sex to be enjoyed in the marriage relationship.

Could it be that many relationships that have sex before marriage fall apart at rapid speeds because you’re not doing it God’s way.  The no sex before marriage was put in place to protect the woman from harm (emotional and physical).  Think about how many relationships you’ve had in the past that involved sex that you had lots of grief over.

However, the marital bond strengthens a relationship in which you have an everlasting union.  Aside from physical harm, the marital sexual relationship is to be fully enjoyed within the bonds of holy matrimony.  To put it simply, after you get married it’s party time!  You can unleash yourself fully on your husband and vice versa.  Forever is a long time and it takes some creativity and thinking outside the box to keep things fresh and new as the years go by.  For that reason you don’t want to get stuck in a rut of doing the same things the same way all the time never trying anything new.

Marriage is freedom within your sexual relationship and you now have that freedom to make your sex life the best that it can be.  As with all areas of life, God’s instructions on sex can be found in the Bible.  The Bible talks about sex a lot.  But often the answers to sexual questions are not found in chapter and verse.  For example you won’t find any references to vibrators.  But using the Bible as a reference guide to making decisions is wisdom.

There is nothing spiritual or moral about limiting sexual pleasure in marriage.  God is the greatest proponent of your pleasure.  Not the pleasure that is sweet for a season, but the deep profound satisfaction that only grows sweeter with time.  Yes you will hit your sexual stride as a couple at some point during your marriage by exploring.  Lots of times it’s not about swinging from the chandeliers, but often as simple as communication.

Being honest about what pleasures you and being able to articulate to your spouse is key.  A wife should open up and blossom within their sexual life with her husband so that bonding is always in full bloom.  This is the time to be sexually free!  There are some things the Bible is very clear about particularly related to sex and perversion.  Once you understand what God has  said No to you are free to have a great time exploring all He has given you to enjoy.


 

  • Moral Purity means that sexual expression is reserved for the covenant of marriage between a husband and wife.  God says “No” to certain violations and perversions of this.  Here is a summary of what God prohibits sexually:

  • Fornication:  Which means having sex outside of marriage.  1 Corinthians 7:2,  1 Thessalonians 4:3

  • Adultery:  Having sex with someone who is not your spouse.  Jesus expanded the meaning of adultery to not just physical acts, but emotional acts as in the mind and heart.  Matthew 5:28

  • Homosexuality:  Having sex with the same gender is sin.  Romans 1:27,  1 Corinthians 6:9,  (love the sinner,  hate the sin)

  • Lustful Passions:  Lustful passion does NOT refer to the powerful God-given sexuality desire for each other between a husband and a wife.  Instead it refers to the unrestrained, indiscriminate, sexual desire for men or women other than the person’s marriage partner.  Mark 7:21, Ephesians 4:19.

  • Inappropriateness:  In Ephesians 4:29, Paul says let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.  This does not relate to sexual humor in the privacy of marriage, but rather inappropriate sexual comments in a public place.

  • If you believe that God the creator of your sexuality has your best interest in mind.  You will understand that these boundaries are to protect you.

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Naughty Or Nice?  

7 Alternatives to straight “Vanilla” (missionary position) sex

1.

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A spanking from your husband

2.

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Blindfolding the woman

                   3.

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Sexy talk is a huge turn on for a lot of couples. Take lovemaking from zero to a hundred in seconds.

4.

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Lingerie.  Look and feel your sexy best and unleash your passion.

5.

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Role Playing.  The ever popular sexy nurse or french maid

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Lovemaking is not just for the bedroom. Anyplace that’s private is appropriate

7.

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Order direct sales online

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  • Reserving sex, and sexual fantasies, and sexual expression only for your husband is the expression of bonding and freedom.

  • The Corinthian church had questions about “grey areas” where the Bible doesn’t go into specifics about sex.  For instance we don’t see anywhere in the Bible where God says no to things like sex toys, masturbation or oral sex.  Paul gave them guidelines on how to use good judgement when the Bible doesn’t clearly state something as right or wrong.  1 Corinthians 6:12, “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial, but I will not be mastered by anything.”  Everything is permissible but not everything is constructive.  Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.  1 Corinthians 10:23,24

  • Here’s what you can take from the passage:  There are many things in life that we are free to do and enjoy.  When you are not sure whether something is okay, put it through Paul’s filter.

 

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  • Is this beneficial?  

  • Is it good for me, or my husband?  

  • Is good for our marriage?

  • Is it constructive?

  • Does it help us to grow and build our marriage?

  • Does it help us to grow and mature?

  • Is it loving?

  • Does this action show love toward my husband or is it selfish?

This may mean that for some couples a sexual act may be fine, while for another it may not.  An example of this is oral sex.  Some couples feel great freedom to include this in their lovemaking.  For other couples oral sex triggers memories of sexual abuse or pornographic images.  The same act can be harmful to one couple and loving to another.

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Women enjoy sex.  Yes even conservative Christian Women, but for some less uninhibited women it’s almost like a secret.  “We enjoy it but we don’t want you to know.”  The Bible gives wives permission to have a fruitful sex life with their husbands.  Now women need to give themselves permission to fully enjoy pleasure within the marital relationship.  It’s okay to be who you are.  A Smart Christian Woman who is conservative and sexy, enjoys pleasure, loves her husband, is desired by her husband, has a desire to please him, and wants a fulfilling relationship in every way.  She is a sexually confident Wife.

 

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Verse of the Day: Proverbs 5:18, “Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth.”

 

Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  

How to tell if you’re in a Codependent Relationship

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Are you in a codependent relationship?  Codependency is a dynamic where one or both persons in a relationship feel an excessive and unhealthy responsibility for the other person’s life.

 

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5 Signs you’re in a Codependent Relationship

  1. You think your happiness is predicated on another person, it’ not. Our happiness is within.  When we stop searching for it in other people and instead connect with our true self, we connect with the source within.  That happiness can overflow to the other person, rather than making them our only source.

  2. You think you need to get the love you want.  Giving love is more important than getting love.  You have an unlimited source within you and it will come back ten fold.  You deserve to be in a mutual healthy relationship.

  3. You don’t feel free.  Love is freedom.  Rules and restrictions are fear.  We must do what we want to do, not what other people want us to do.

  4. You play caregiver.  A healthy relationship is between two adults not one adult and one child, or two children.  When we mother or take care of someone who is not taking care of themselves it’s disempowering for both people.  When we grow up spiritually we learn to take responsibility for ourselves and not live as a victim or helpless.  We can live in our highest truth we are all capable.

  5. You believe that you cannot do any better or that you will never love again.  When in fact you have to let go of the old or what doesn’t work before you can embrace the new.

 

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3 Tips on how to cope with codependent relationships

 

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Making a clean break and never seeing this person again.

2. Codependent-Relationships

Couples counseling for longer term relationships to try and see what is in you to attract these types of relationships.

 

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Group therapy for couples.

 

 

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Codependency counseling with christian counselor Dr. Michelle.

www.drmichele.org/services/christian-counseling/codependency-and-people-pleasing/ 

 www.allaboutcounseling.com

 www.thehartcenter.com

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Verse of the day: Luke 4:18, “The spirit of the lord is on me, because he has sent me to set the captives free. and proclaim liberty to oppressed people.”

 

Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

Professional office wear in Warmer Weather

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The first moments of a meeting are the most important as people will make an immediate judgement in the first three seconds.  Those three seconds could mean the success and failure of your business or interview.  Office attire is always professional.  With the exception of a casual day which is usually on a friday when you’re able to dress a little less formal.  In the warmer weather months you will exchange your sweaters for lighter weight blouses, cotton button down shirts and lightweight blazers and jackets.  Colors can change from dark to light although nothing too bright or busy patterns, less is more in the warmer weather so keep it simple.  Make sure you take the time to properly prepare for your meetings so that you can make a lasting impact.  And before you go out think about the kind of message you and your  wardrobe are sending.

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  • The Pant suit
  • The skirt and jacket with blouse

 

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  • College students at spring job fair

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  1. Stay up to date with the latest fashions to learn about what types of clothes flatter your body type.  Read fashion magazines and blogs.  Get measured at a department store.

  2. Keep it simple do not wear too many patterns that distract you and your message.

  3. Wear something comfortable.  You are more relaxed when you are not worrying about your wardrobe.

  4. Never wear anything revealing that could send the wrong message.

  5. Keep jewelry to a minimum, too much can distract but the right accessories can accentuate and enhance your presentation.

  6. Wear well kept polished shoes.  Keep the stilettos for special occasions and evenings out.

  7. Make sure you are well groomed, clean hair, clean and neat nails, hair styles simple and understated.

Last but not least is to always wear a smile.  Let prospects know you love what you do.

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50 Amazing Women's Business Fashion Trends (21)Summer-Everyday-Urban-Wardrobe-Looks-for-Offices-11

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Verse of the day: 1 Timothy 2:9, NIV “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, respectable attire with self control as is proper for women making a claim to Godliness.”


Hello Guys! and a special shout out to all SCW readers around the world you guys rock. Happy to be back from a week long family vacation and romantic getaway with my handsome husband.  Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses through this journey called life.  It felt great to getaway and relax and give my husband my undivided attention.  We are truly blessed with thankful hearts, to God be the Glory.  So keep the faith and keep enjoying interesting thought provoking topics on SCW.

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