As a mother balancing motherhood and marriage can be very stressful and difficult at times. There will always be that pressure to fulfill both roles. Truthfully the role that tends to suffer the most is being a wife. I think it’s possible for us to develop a sense of balance that allows us to be great in both roles. Is it going to be easy? Definitely not. But I think it’s definitely possible. The mistake that most women make is giving too much of themselves to make everyone happy. They end up operating on a very empty tank because they try to meet every need that their children have. All the while also trying to maintain a happy marriage.
Fortunately our kids are college age now, the youngest still at home going to college locally so it’s not as much of an issue as it is with younger children. What if you tried to put your own needs first? Sounds impossible right? Not only is it possible, I think it’s the only way to successfully balance both roles and keep your sanity. If you don’t take care of yourself there will be nothing to give to your children and husband. You will start to become resentful of the people you love , when really the power is in your hands to place boundaries and a little extra effort into yourself.
10 Tips to Balance Motherhood and Marriage
- Organize your time, make a schedule. For instance, every Friday night is date night with your husband. (or maybe every other friday). Sundays are family time when you do activities with the kids. Saturdays are your time to spend as you please whether it’s running errands, trip to the salon, or simply relaxing, it’s your weekend too. During the week you are usually involved with the kids. Perhaps one night a week you have to yourself say Wednesdays the middle of the week to break up the monotony, you spend it however you please. So basically mom sets aside two days to herself out of seven that’s not too much to ask. Just those few hours to yourself will do wonders for recharging your batteries so you can be the energizer bunny the rest of the week. Now I’m not saying you have to set up your schedule exactly this way. Everyone’s life is different, but you get the idea. Carve out time for yourself.
- Get a regular babysitter. When it’s your time, or date night with your spouse, ship the kids off to the sitter. Or the sitter stays at home with the kids and you and your spouse go out.
- Never neglect date night. It’s so important to have that time with your spouse to stay connected. On a budget? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. You can pack a picnic lunch and go to the park. It’s the time alone that’s important, and more importantly you are nurturing your role as a wife.
- Get your sexy back. Moms are famous for letting themselves go after marriage and kids. But actually this is the time to step it up. When you look good you feel good. Making an effort to be attractive not only for yourself, but also your spouse, will keep the home fires burning with your husband.
- Establish open communication with your husband. Express how you feel. He might have no idea that you’re struggling with your responsibilities as a wife and mother. Discuss your individual needs and set realistic expectations. Discuss how you can support one another in your respective roles.
- Pause. Mentally prepare yourself. If you’re a stay at home mom, before your husband gets in especially if you have small children, arrange their nap times. Use that time before your husband gets in to get yourself together. Switch from your mom clothes, ( i.e., tee shirt, sweat pants), to something a little nicer. Do your hair and makeup even if you are just staying in. You don’t have to get all dressed up. I like pretty lounge clothes for lounging around the house. Maybe put a little soothing music to calm your nerves. Watch a funny video so that you can laugh and basically just put yourself in a good mood. I often like to have a little smooth jazz on around the house when I’m cooking, cleaning or preparing myself. Or I just sit and listen to calm my nerves. Have a glass of wine, whatever you need to do to now take on this other role. Or maybe it’s at night after the kids bedtime when you can finally switch from mom to wife.
- Short romantic getaways without the kids. A quick weekend away can do wonders for refreshing a couple. He needs to have your undivided attention without you having to correct the kids, or tend to their needs. After the trip your husband feels better, you feel better, the kids miss you guys, you miss them, and it’s a happy homecoming for everybody.
- Make room for Dad. Make sure the kids know and appreciate how important their Dad is to you and how important his role is in the household. Make sure they know that what he does, he does for us.
- Accept help once in awhile. A lot of us are supermoms and that’s great. But it’s okay to tell your husband things are a little overwhelming right now and you need him to pitch in and help you out.
- Take the edge off. Have a quickie with your husband.
Verse of the day: