OMG, you mean to tell me a Christian woman can be sexy, adventurous, and desired by her husband? And God is not mad at me for having a sexually fulfilling life with my husband? I can still be a “nice Christian woman” and love sex too. God is the creator of sex and pleasure, and marriage. I think He is way ahead of you on this one. God created sex to be enjoyed in the marriage relationship.
Could it be that many relationships that have sex before marriage fall apart at rapid speeds because you’re not doing it God’s way. The no sex before marriage was put in place to protect the woman from harm (emotional and physical). Think about how many relationships you’ve had in the past that involved sex that you had lots of grief over.
However, the marital bond strengthens a relationship in which you have an everlasting union. Aside from physical harm, the marital sexual relationship is to be fully enjoyed within the bonds of holy matrimony. To put it simply, after you get married it’s party time! You can unleash yourself fully on your husband and vice versa. Forever is a long time and it takes some creativity and thinking outside the box to keep things fresh and new as the years go by. For that reason you don’t want to get stuck in a rut of doing the same things the same way all the time never trying anything new.
Marriage is freedom within your sexual relationship and you now have that freedom to make your sex life the best that it can be. As with all areas of life, God’s instructions on sex can be found in the Bible. The Bible talks about sex a lot. But often the answers to sexual questions are not found in chapter and verse. For example you won’t find any references to vibrators. But using the Bible as a reference guide to making decisions is wisdom.
There is nothing spiritual or moral about limiting sexual pleasure in marriage. God is the greatest proponent of your pleasure. Not the pleasure that is sweet for a season, but the deep profound satisfaction that only grows sweeter with time. Yes you will hit your sexual stride as a couple at some point during your marriage by exploring. Lots of times it’s not about swinging from the chandeliers, but often as simple as communication.
Being honest about what pleasures you and being able to articulate to your spouse is key. A wife should open up and blossom within their sexual life with her husband so that bonding is always in full bloom. This is the time to be sexually free! There are some things the Bible is very clear about particularly related to sex and perversion. Once you understand what God has said No to you are free to have a great time exploring all He has given you to enjoy.
- Moral Purity means that sexual expression is reserved for the covenant of marriage between a husband and wife. God says “No” to certain violations and perversions of this. Here is a summary of what God prohibits sexually:
- Fornication: Which means having sex outside of marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:2, 1 Thessalonians 4:3
- Adultery: Having sex with someone who is not your spouse. Jesus expanded the meaning of adultery to not just physical acts, but emotional acts as in the mind and heart. Matthew 5:28
- Homosexuality: Having sex with the same gender is sin. Romans 1:27, 1 Corinthians 6:9, (love the sinner, hate the sin)
- Lustful Passions: Lustful passion does NOT refer to the powerful God-given sexuality desire for each other between a husband and a wife. Instead it refers to the unrestrained, indiscriminate, sexual desire for men or women other than the person’s marriage partner. Mark 7:21, Ephesians 4:19.
- Inappropriateness: In Ephesians 4:29, Paul says let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths. This does not relate to sexual humor in the privacy of marriage, but rather inappropriate sexual comments in a public place.
- If you believe that God the creator of your sexuality has your best interest in mind. You will understand that these boundaries are to protect you.
Naughty Or Nice?
7 Alternatives to straight “Vanilla” (missionary position) sex
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A spanking from your husband
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Blindfolding the woman
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Sexy talk is a huge turn on for a lot of couples. Take lovemaking from zero to a hundred in seconds.
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Lingerie. Look and feel your sexy best and unleash your passion.
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Role Playing. The ever popular sexy nurse or french maid
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Lovemaking is not just for the bedroom. Anyplace that’s private is appropriate
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- Reserving sex, and sexual fantasies, and sexual expression only for your husband is the expression of bonding and freedom.
- The Corinthian church had questions about “grey areas” where the Bible doesn’t go into specifics about sex. For instance we don’t see anywhere in the Bible where God says no to things like sex toys, masturbation or oral sex. Paul gave them guidelines on how to use good judgement when the Bible doesn’t clearly state something as right or wrong. 1 Corinthians 6:12, “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial, but I will not be mastered by anything.” Everything is permissible but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10:23,24
- Here’s what you can take from the passage: There are many things in life that we are free to do and enjoy. When you are not sure whether something is okay, put it through Paul’s filter.
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Is this beneficial?
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Is it good for me, or my husband?
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Is good for our marriage?
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Is it constructive?
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Does it help us to grow and build our marriage?
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Does it help us to grow and mature?
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Is it loving?
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Does this action show love toward my husband or is it selfish?
This may mean that for some couples a sexual act may be fine, while for another it may not. An example of this is oral sex. Some couples feel great freedom to include this in their lovemaking. For other couples oral sex triggers memories of sexual abuse or pornographic images. The same act can be harmful to one couple and loving to another.
Women enjoy sex. Yes even conservative Christian Women, but for some less uninhibited women it’s almost like a secret. “We enjoy it but we don’t want you to know.” The Bible gives wives permission to have a fruitful sex life with their husbands. Now women need to give themselves permission to fully enjoy pleasure within the marital relationship. It’s okay to be who you are. A Smart Christian Woman who is conservative and sexy, enjoys pleasure, loves her husband, is desired by her husband, has a desire to please him, and wants a fulfilling relationship in every way. She is a sexually confident Wife.
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 5:18, “Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth.”
Smart Christian Woman Magazine 