Archive | May 2016

Leadership and Masculine Energy


Surrendering to the Masculine Energy

  • Surrendering means letting go.  And Trusting and letting a man take care of you when you need it.  It’s also about letting him in and liberating yourself from your fears.

We all want a strong man that takes charge!  I know I do, and I have one.  As a strong independent woman it took me a while to learn how to “Surrender to the masculine Energy”.   I never knew there was such a concept.  However, it is a very real one meant to protect the woman.  The idea behind surrendering to the masculine energy is no longer fearing it but trusting it.  And letting it protect you within God’s plan for the person He has for you.  Ephesians 5:23, “the husband is the head of the wife”, and a  “Covering”  for her. The Problem is a lot of men use their masculine energy in very bad ways, ( rape, abuse, mental, emotional abuse).  But we’re not looking to attract these types of men.  We need to nourish and encourage the men who use their masculine energy for good.

How does a woman Surrender to the masculine energy and trust his leadership?

  • Understand that the masculine and feminine energy work together.  The more feminine you are the more masculinity you will trigger in a man.

  • Let go of past hurts and pains, of the men who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you.

  •  Let go of your need to be in control.  Let go of the need to be the a strong tower island.  No man is an island.  The masculine and feminine energies need each other.

  • Once you really let go.  It will take true introspection from within and time to grow past that point to another level.  Learn to breathe and relieve yourself of past pain and suffering.  You will attract a masculine loving male in to your life.

Do not Resist

  • Much of a woman’s inability to surrender has to do with this underlying power struggle that plagues many relationships. i.e. egos battling.  No one wants to take the first move to apologize. Often people don’t want to show vulnerability.

  • The reality is that no matter how much we try to avoid pain it’s going to come, it’s part of life.

  • Do not resist the masculine energy.  Sometimes a man may be moody, angry, or intense.  Perhaps these things scare you and cause you to be defensive, a very common problem.  Despite how tense or intimidating he may seem instead of being resentful be smart and know where it all comes from his “masculine energy.”

  • Be confident, (notice I didn’t say “feel” confident), that the feminine energy can handle the masculine energy without (matching it’s aggression and anger).  Not only handle it, but inspire it, drive it, influence it!  The more you let go the better your love life and dating life will become.

  •  The feminine energy fuels the masculine energy.  When you feel resistance and tension in your relationship. If you are both in a bad state remember that a woman can break a man’s state and get you both into a more loving and resourceful place.

  • The feminine energy is never truly free unless and until the masculine energy shows up “for real in her life” and is ready and willing to protect and serve.

  • Surrender with love, acceptance, openness, completely and fully to the masculine energy.


Verse of the Day:


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Memorial Day Rememberance

Happy Memorial Day God Bless



Click  below for “Hot fun in the Summertime” and jam while you scroll!






What are you grateful for today?

Take some time today to reflect on the good things in your life.  My list of what I’m grateful for is below.  If this list resonates with anyone, God bless you, I think that’s awesome!

      1.  Grateful to God for all he has done and is doing in my life.
      2.  Grateful for good health and strength.
      3.  Grateful for family, good friends, and loved ones.
      4.  Grateful for career, and ability to earn a living.
      5.  Grateful for hope of the future and awesome things to come

  • We will spend our Memorial Day at home this year relaxing.  My menu consists of Hamburgers, hot dogs, barbecue chicken, macaroni salad, baked beans, corn on the cob, and potatoes chips.  I usually prepare more food but we’re trying to stay fix and not over-indulge.   Living in Southern California we’re near several beaches so that’s awesome.  We also have a pool and hot tub at home.  My husband and I will spend some time in it this weekend.  It’s a long holiday weekend and I’m just happy to have my husband off work to spend time at home.  Tell us how you’re going to spend your Memorial Day weekend.
  • I would like to take this time to thank all our readers and followers for your viewership.  SCW has really taken off over the past year and it’s all because of you.  We appreciate our viewers.  So shout out to the US, and we are very proud of our international following so shout out to:

Afghanistan, Albania, Algeria, Algeria, American Samoa, Angola, Antigua & Barbuda, Argentina, Australia, Austria, Azerbaijan, Bahamas, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Barbados,
Belarus, Belgium, Belize, Benin, Bermuda, Bhutan, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Botswana, Brazil, British Virgin Islands, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Canada, Chile, China, Colombia, Congo – Kinshasa, Costa Rica, Côte d’Ivoire, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Egypt, El  Salvador, Estonia, European Union, Finland, France, French Guiana, Gabon, Germany, Ghana, Greece, Guyana, Haiti, Honduras, Hong Kong SAR China, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Iraq, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Kenya, Kuwait,
Laos, Latvia, Lebanon, Libya,  Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macedonia, Malawi, Malaysia, Mali, Malta, Mauritius, Mexico, Moldova,
Montenegro, Morocco, Myanmar (Burma), Namibia, Nepal, Netherlands, New Zealand, Nigeria, Norway, Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Puerto Rico, Qatar, Romania, Russia, Rwanda, Saudi Arabia, Serbia, Singapore, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Africa, South Korea, Spain, Sri Lanka, St. Lucia, Suriname, Swaziland, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Tanzania, Thailand, Trinidad & Tobago, Tunisia, Turkey, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, United States, Vanuatu, Venezuela, Vietnam, Zambia, Zimbabwe.
… (130) and counting!!

That’s Absolutely Amazing!!
  You Rock! To God be the Glory. We also have a bunch of new followers and I would like to say to everyone:


Verse Of the Day:


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Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

Memorial Day Weekend Getaway tips 2016



Whether you’re traveling by car, land, sea, or air.  This Memorial day weekend promises to be one of the busiest and most dangerous to date.  38 million Americans will hit the road this holiday weekend.  That’s up 700,000 from last year and the highest total since 2005.  The number of people traveling by cars is up 2% due to cheaper gas prices.  9 out 10 Americans will be hitting the highway.

Traveling with family and loved ones this holiday, fun and relaxation is foremost in the minds of most Americans, but the main concern has to be safety.  To safely get to and from your destinations without incident or at least with as little stress as possible.  Below are a few tips to keep your family safe this Memorial Day!




  • Travel Safety

1. Don’t drink and drive or travel with anyone that has been drinking.

2.  Wear your seat belts at all times.

3.  Make sure your vehicle has been serviced before a long road trip. keep car charger handy.


  • Sun safety

4.  Use sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher and apply it generously throughout the day.  Also use an  “After Sun” moisturizer on your skin.

5.  Wear hat and sunglasses.

6.  Drinks lots of water and stay hydrated.

7.  Do not swim alone.

8.  Supervise small children at all times

  • Food Safety

9.  Wash hands thoroughly with soap and warm water before handling food.  Also wash after handling raw poultry or meat, to guard against cross contamination of bacteria.  Keep uncooked meats away from other foods.

10.  Cook food thoroughly especially ground beef poultry and pork.  Refrigerate all perishable food within two hours.

  • Enjoy the holiday weekend with friends and family and remember to pay respects to those who have given so much for us to be able to enjoy the liberties we enjoy today!!




Happy Memorial Day Weekend from SCW to all our readers and all service men.  Have a blast guys!!


Verse Of the Day:


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Authority and Submission


Romans 13:1, “For there is no authority except from God and those which exist are established by God.”  Immediately most people think this scripture speaks of civil government.  It also speaks of Parents, husbands and wives, teachers, church leaders, policemen, all human authority.  The Bible is clear that the husband is the head of the home and his wife should submit to him.

Ephesians 5:22,
 “Wives submit yourselves as unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.” This is not to say that because God has placed the husband in charge that he can be reckless and lawless in his decision-making.  He himself is under God’s authority and has to answer to Him.  Ephesians 5:25,  “Husbands love your wives as God loves the church and gave Himself for it.”

Understanding Authority and Submission

  • Equality

Although the husband is the head of the home, he is not superior to his wife.  Although the wife submits to his final word she is not inferior to her husband.  They are equals.  Mark 10:8, “the two shall become one.” God has ordained that the principle of authority and submission only work when those in authority and submission recognize the principle of equality.  They have no insecurities about their importance or uniqueness which is derived solely from God.

Submission is strength under control.  If the wife is to be a strong Christian witness to her husband.  She should make submission her attitude.

Roles.  While husband and wife are equal. They have distinctively different roles that they have been designed for.  When those gifts and talents work together and are in alignment with God’s purposes a harmonious bond is formed.

  • Foundation

Christ has established order in the family. 1 Corinthians 14:40, “Let everything be done decently and in order.”  Let your life in God be the foundation for all that you do for your husband and not a conflict.  As a wife and mother you should never habitually neglect your responsibilities to your husband and family in order to read the Bible, attend church meetings, or work, your greatest work is done inside your home!  God wants you to grow where you’ve been planted.

Neglecting your responsibilities will produced resentment in your loved ones.  And give satan an “In” into your home to ultimately destroy.  Keep it tight at home ladies!!!  John 10:10, tells us that “the thief only comes to kill, steal and destroy.”  Psalm 127:1, “Unless God builds the house those who build it labor in vain.”  Wow can you imagine building something all for nothing! Like going to work everyday in rush hour traffic both ways day after day year after year and never being paid. OMG.

Heed the word of God for the foundation of your life.  Matthew 7:26, “Those who hear my words and do not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.”

Proverbs 24:3,  “By wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established.”

  • Benefits of Submission

To fulfill God’s commandments and live a life pleasing to Him to avoid  consequences.  Romans 13:2 “Consequently he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted and those who do so will bring judgement on themselves.”

The Blessings of God.  The wife who robs her husband of his God-given rights also robs her children of God’s intended blessings.

A strong male Christian leader in the household.  There are millions of households out there that do not have male leadership. (mostly single parent homes)  There are millions of women who pray for male leadership.  It is a strong component to the success of the family.  Did you know that “gangs” are the result of No fathers in the household?

Teaching your children leadership and servitude.  God says that leaders should be the greatest servant.  Leaders serve.  I love to serve my family.  They are always asking can I help you do this or that?   “set the table”,  help with cooking?  I’m always telling them to stay out of the kitchen.  I tell them no I just want you to relax.  I love all things domestic and just love to serve.  I have a servant’s heart. John 13:14,  “Now that I your Lord and teacher have washed your feet you should also wash one another’s feet, I have set an example for you.”




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Diffusing Arguments

Composite image of upset young couple not talking
To take arguments down a notch, start sentences with “I” not “You” suggests Lind Hill Professor of business administration at Harvard Law School.  This will help the other person to see your perspective and understand that you’re not trying to blame them for the problem.  Don’t play the blame game.  It does not accomplish anything, you might say “well it was their fault.”  Okay but no matter whose fault it is, it’s up to the both of you to work through the problem to find the solution.

What affects you affects me.  So like adults you arrive at a place of decision so that you may move forward.  The problem is in the process of trying to reach the destination.  Tempers flare, and communication decreases into a full-blown argument where both parties are yelling to be heard because no one is listening.  This is counterproductive.

Rather than thinking about what you want to say in an argument consider what you want to learn.  Ask yourself.  What was my part in this?  What could I have done better?  What can we do together to  make this situation better?  Or what can we do to eliminate this type of situation from happening in the future.  Take the focus off of each other as the “bad guy”.  Instead focus on the problem.  What can we do to combat this?


1.  Pause.Stop. Reset. Walk away if you have to.  Sometimes a person’s emotions are so out of control at that moment that there is no  calming them down.  In these moments one of you has to stay calm!  It takes two to tango.  And if you stand there and trade anger for anger it’s going to escalate with no resolution.  Recognize when this is happening and say “We’ll talk later when we’re both calmer.”

Happy asian couple sitting on the sofa enjoying each others company
2.  Listen and Cushion your blows.  Listen to your partner’s concerns, think, then respond.  You cannot both yell and hope to be heard.  In addition sit down and hear each other out.  A study done at Harvard shows people are more calm and more receptive to what you have to say if they’re sitting down.

3.  Be willing to approach difficult topics.  Talk in a calm tone. If you always feel like it’s not a good idea to approach difficult topics, they won’t get resolved.  Those difficult topics could have been diffused with a heart to heart become big problems that drag on and become harder later.  Nip it in the bud as soon as possible to avoid big storms.

4.  Touch to ease tensions.  Putting your hands on your partner’s knee or holding hands can take the sting out of an argument or squabble.

5.  Ask Questions.  Do you have any suggestions on how you would like to handle this?  How can we move from where we are to where we want to be?




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Called to be a light in a dark World


As Christians we are called to be The light in a dark world.  Ultimately God changes people.  We are not called to change people.  We can make a difference in their lives and show them examples of right behavior.  We don’t have the power to change people.  But we definitely cannot let them change us!!  We are the ones that should be rubbing off on them.  We are the the ones that make them thirsty for what we have by having a peace that surpasses all understanding.  I don’t think you need to have a haughty attitude about it.

If you’re Christian you don’t want to go around condemning people
and trying to make them feel bad.  No, instead lead by example simply be who you are over and over and over again until people become thirsty for the kind of joy and peace that you have.  And eventually they will, because nobody likes a dry place.  So keep yourself spiritually strong stay prayed up.  Be full enough of God to go into a difficult situation and just be  what you say you believe.  You can believe all day but people don’t see what you believe, they see your behavior.

So it’s about making right choices that reflect God’s best. 
When you were saved by grace through faith, you were made holy.  That’s right you were made holy.  You may not be living holy.  None of us has arrived!  You press toward the mark of the high call.  You strive toward holiness and everyday in every way you should be getting better, blossoming, and living in the fullness of life God has for you.

If you been saved 10 years and nothing’s changed it’s a clear sign you haven’t changed.  When you truly walk with God there will be a change!!  In fact there will be many changes!!  If you are struggling in this area talk to a pastor or Christian counselor, or someone you trust for guidance. Christian Women today are really on fire for God!  It’s great to see.  Please encourage another woman today.  Get online and connect with your Christian community.

Isaiah 42:6, “I the Lord have called you into righteousness and will hold your hand and keep you.”
















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Ageing Gracefully 26 helpful tips




Okay ladies this is what we want to shoot for, unbelievable Tina Turner at age 73 and the beautiful Jane Seymour ast 62.  These women have redefined aging!  Though they’ll both admit it takes work.  It gives us something to strive for.  It’s a great time to be alive!  We are living longer, women are having babies in their 40’s.  By the way congratulations to Janet Jackson and her husband pregnant and over 40.

These women are all an inspiration.  They’re showing the world that 40 is not the death sentence that a country so fixated on age would like to portray.  40 is indeed the new 30.  “The devil is a liar”  With great examples like Jane and Tina they show us that a woman can look great at any age and yes even sexy. Looking good in your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s and 70’s and beyond.


     20 Anti-Aging Tips


  1.  Eat Well.


  2.  Remember your Spirit.  Studies show that Spirituality or religion also known as your faith has a direct positive effect on your overall well-being.

Young adults using running machine at the fitness club

  3.  Exercise.  A fit body lives longer, avoids  illness and disease.


Antioxidants (1)

  4.  Maximize your intake of antioxidants. Dark fruits.





5.  Supplements


Exhausted woman sleeping in front of computer

  6.  Get more sleep.


  7.  Use a wrinkle reducer.  Burning the candle at both ends with lack of sleep and elasticity.  Use a wrinkle reducer to prevent premature aging.


  8.  Stimulate your brain.  The brain like the rest of the body needs exercise to avoid becoming sluggish.  The brain needs to be challenged to keep neuropathological pathways open.  Read, learn a new language or skill.


  9.  Restore your hormones.  It’s not you it’s your hormones.  After 35 hormones decrease in women, (Estrogen).  Women who had hormone therapy report feeling better and living healthier lives.


10.  Use sun screen.  Protect your skin from UV rays, causing premature aging.


  11.  Increase your water Intake.  Simple H20 will prevent wrinkles, ensure that your hair skin and nails remain soft.



 12.  Moisturizer your face and Body daily.

Happy couple riding double decker bus in London


13. The Pursuit of happiness


  14.  Become a social butterfly.  Studies shows that people who are more social and are connected with family, friends and community live longer.


  15.  Stay active.  Being active keeps the heart rate up


  16.  Quiet your soul and relax.


  17. Don’t overeat.  Maintain a healthy weight.


  18.  Drink Green Tea.


  19.  Laugh more smile often


20.  Exfoliate. Remove dead cells from the top layer of skin using a scrub or brush, or professional facial.




Avoid Excessive plastic surgery and liposuction.  This is where the gracefully part comes in.  If you excessively traumatize your skin with needles and surgery in the long run you wind up looking older and some look almost alien.  Never let plastic surgery be your excuse for not wanting to take care of yourself.  I sympathize with women to a point.  Children put our bodies through a lot physically and I understand mommy makeovers, and generally I’m in favor of whatever makes the woman feel good about herself.   But we’re talking excessive when too much is too much.




  • Use an under eye cream to prevent premature aging around the eyes, dark circles, puffiness.

  • After a pedicure use some vaseline on your heels preferably overnight to keep your heels from drying out and looking unkept.

  • Consistently wash the makeup from your face every night.  Makeup left on overnight settles into your pores and clogs them.

  • Reduce alcohol and caffeine.  They cause dehydration in the skin.

  • Add a little baby oil to your bath to soften the skin.

  • Avoid synthetic chemicals. in body creams and hygienic products.


Verse Of the Day:


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How to Create Intimacy

affectionate couple wrapped in blanket at home by fireplace

Intimacy in your marriage involves more than good sex.  Intimacy is achieved when the two of you can share your thoughts, and opinions, and feelings with each other.  My husband is the first man who I was ultimately willing to share myself with totally and completely.  What I mean by that is, in past relationships even long-term relationships, I was never willing to give to that other person all of myself. Meaning you would get a “part” of me , the parts I was willing to share but ultimately I held a lot back.

Nobody ever really got 100% percent of me.  Not knowing at the time that that’s how intimacy is achieved by full disclosure and a willingness to be vulnerable.  I wasn’t willing to be vulnerable.  I was and still am a very strong woman and had built up many walls around myself.   How did I change?  Of course God.  God had to work on my mind and my heart and behavior so that I would be ready to receive the man God had for me.

With my husband’s strong character, loving heart, and gentle ways and persistence, he broke me down and melted the ice away.  But even that wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t 1000% sure that he was “for me.”  When I say “for me” I mean he was with me all the way and he showed me not with words but with actions!!!!  I’m the type of person you have to prove it to me.  Then and only then will I give you the keys to the kingdom.  I can be pretty tough.

You too can create and enjoy or recapture the intimacy in your marriage with  some time and attention devoted to this area.  Like anything else you have to work on it.  Your marital intimacy is strengthened when you are spending time as a couple having fun together and surprising one another.  So let’s get to it and do it!  Do something today that will enhance the intimacy in your marriage.


  • Bonding

  • Integrating

  • Intensifying

  • Experimenting

  • Initiating

  • Playfulness


1. Image Number: 78779202

Having fun together.  Laughing together, spontaneous trips, walking on the beach, hiking, washing your car, comedy club date, Proverbs 17 :22,  “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.”

2.  28288-feng-suej-pro-stastny-zivot

Deepen your relationship through intimate uninterrupted talks.  Share who you are.  Share your hopes, dreams, wishes, and needs.  Let your spouse know how important your marriage is to you.  Get to know your partner’s hopes, dreams, wishes and needs.  Tell your spouse how he or she makes you feel and how your life is enhanced by them.

3.  black-happy-couple

Be affectionate.  Words alone won’t increase intimacy.  You must also demonstrate your feelings with actions.

4.   intimacy in bathtub new site

Intimate acts that do not involve sex.  Intimate acts that do not involve sex result in bonding.

5.  cq5dam.web.637.358

Open your mind and heart.  It refers to your willingness to talk about anything and everything. Neither of you should have a fear about broaching a topic.  Even scary issues such as finance, child rearing, death, in-laws, etc..  Venting problems and finding resolutions should be a major component of your relationship.  To do this successfully you need to be open to each others views, you’re going to have to embrace the:”C” word, Compromise.

6.  partner-sl-11-3-2013

Building comfort and security.  Trust is a big part of building intimacy.  Knowing your partner is dependable goes a long way to helping you feel comfortable and secure with him or her.  This means you should be where you say you’re going to be.  Your partner should be able to trust in your words.  Come through on promises and remain faithful always.  When you trust your partner, the walls you might have built come down.

Fears disappear such as being naked with the lights on, or worrying about being judged for your past tend to fade away.  You’re intimacy will grow, you’ll focus on what’s important, and in turn feel more secure in your relationship.  You suddenly think that little spat you had yesterday is unimportant and doesn’t mean the end of your marriage, press on!!

7.  things-you-need-know-about-male-orgasms-06-pg-full

Have sex.  Not only should you keep the home fires burning, burn the house down!!!!  While affection doesn’t have to always lead to sex it should sometimes.  Those animal needs aren’t a bad thing.  Men tend to want to be closer or more intimate if they are having sex often.  Women want sex when intimacy increases.  So having sex on a consistent basis can help both and woman get what they want.  Don’t just go through the motions, really be in the moment.  Get in the mood for love, make sure you make your spouse feel desirable.  Let them know you enjoy having sex with them.




Beautiful woman whispering something sweet to her boyfriend





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How to survive getting back to Work


Maternity Leave

The day is coming that you’ll be returning  to work after maternity leave.  Or perhaps reentering the workforce after spending a few years at home with the kids.  Here’s a primer on how to thrive during the first week back from your leave.

To kick things off the first thing you’ll want to do is a trial run:  Since you have already lined up child care, such as a relative or babysitter, or daycare center, do a trial run with them.  Without the pressure of having to go to work on your trial run and prepare yourself mentally.  You’ll have the flexibility to hang out and help your child adjust to a new caregiver.

You could also take advantage of this free time and run those errands you’ve been thinking about.  Like shopping for professional clothes that fit your postpartum figure.   Or to accommodate and flatter your figure now, a haircut, or picking up extra supplies for your child’s caregiver.



  1. Get clear on answers to these questions.  Do you have to get yourself ready for the day before your child wakes up? (I would do it before) Or can he or she amuse themselves in a playpen while you dress?  Will you eat breakfast at home, in the car, or at work?  Who will get your child ready for the day, you or your significant other?  Will your child eat at home or at daycare?  Then estimate how long it will take for you and your child to get ready in the morning, so that you may establish a routine.

  2. Give yourself extra time in the morning.  Set your alarm for 30 minutes before you need to be up  so that you can enjoy a hot cup of coffee in silence and do something for yourself like reading, writing in your journal, or exercising in peace or perhaps some time with your husband.

  3.  Get lots of sleep.  Your first week back will probably be draining no matter how prepared you are.  Go to bed as soon as possible each evening.  Sleep with earplugs if need be and ask your husband to handle any middle of the night waking.

  4. Consolidate both home and work calendars.  When unexpected events happen and they always do, have a calendar that shows both personal and business commitments.  While you are scrambling to get a sick kid to the pediatrician you will know which meetings you need to cancel or get a colleague to cover.  Or you’ll know when you have to get coverage from your husband, or back up caregiver so that you don’t miss work and keep things running as smooth as possible.

  5. Prioritize ruthlessly.  Working moms have to be efficient.  Identify the few key tasks that must be completed to get you up to speed at work.  Tackle the most important things early in your workday.  That will leave fewer loose ends toward the end of the day when you may have a school emergency. ( picking up a sick kid from school)  Brace yourself for the first few months of group child associations, there are usually colds, fevers, and ear infections.

  6.  Suspend self judgement.  Don’t be so hard on yourself if you forget some things.  Remember this is a motherhood transitional challenge.  One day at a time.

  7. Become a list maker.  If you were not a list maker before, you’ll become one.  Writing a packing list is a way to lessen stress in the morning.  Example,  The baby: Four full bottles with caps, Diapers, wipes, powder, extra clothes, blanket, toy.  You: Breast pump, empty bottles, lunch box, laptop, purse, cell phone, keys.

  8. Get prepared the night before for the next day.  This will shave some time off your schedule and help you to feel less stressed.

  9. Create routines that shape your baby’s sleeping and eating times.  The eat, play, and sleep routine is a great one.  It allows the baby time for naps in the crib and gives the caregiver breaks.

  10. Get information on “Shared Parental leave and pay”.  If your baby was born on or before April 5th, 2o15 you and your spouse may be able to enjoy shared rights to leave and pay.  This gives you more flexibility and choices.

  11. Paternity Leave.  You or your spouse could have the right to up to 26 weeks of paternity leave if your child was born on or before or on April 5th, 2015.  Additional paternity leave can be taken 20 weeks after the child is born, and finished before the child’s first birthday.

  12. Reward yourself. Plan a reward that will get you through the first week of work.  Maybe it’s a 3 pm pedicure or coffee with your best work friend.  You deserve it, it’s important to celebrate our small victories.





Verse of the day:


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How to “think together” in Marriage


We often select a partner that is different from us yet complements us in a variety of ways.  Over time many couples find those differences a source of friction in their relationship.  If this resonates with you, don’t worry, it’s normal, and human and there are ways to deal with this.  We may mistake communication as trying to change our partner’s mind, (thinking alike).  Another way to look at this is to focus on our larger goal, connection and Intimacy.  With this shift in our own desire, thinking we have a chance to consider a new strategy in our conversation, which is understanding and creating a solution together, ( thinking together).

Once we’ve gotten past trying to convince our partner that our opinion is the right or the only way, we can seek options that come from the both of us, ( growing together).  In order to do so we need to deeply understand the meanings of each perspective and ultimately use those to learn and grow together.  And as a result strengthening our relationship.  How do we do that?  We can become very curious about the other person’s view of life and listen carefully, not just wait until it’s your turn to talk. This shows that we are genuinely interested in our partner and how he or she ticks.  How they think and what is wanted and needed in relation to the topic at hand.  Perhaps they just want you to listen.

Tips and tools, Ways to Think Together

  • Ask open ended questions
    1. What does this mean to you?
    2. What are your hopes and concerns on this topic?
    3. Tell me more about that.

  • Dig deep in yourself for understanding
  1. Go slowly in this process.  Avoid going for the “quick fixes”.
  2. Name it, and keep seeking meaning.
  3. Always strive to arrive at the same place. (Ask? How can we get on the same page with this?),  and if you can’t reach a compromise.  Compromise and sacrifice is a big part of marriage.

  • We can learn to value, and yes even promote those differences.
  1. You can arrive at a place where you think. “you know I never thought of it that way.”
  2. Keep emotions in check, so that you do not break down communication.
  3. Extend grace to your spouse.  Have you ever stopped to consider how much grace was needed to bring you to where you are today?  How can we afford not to give grace to our husbands who work so hard for our homes and our families.

  • Forgive
    We must forgive just as God has forgiven us.  Unforgiveness becomes a cancer that eats away at our souls, until we are riddled with pain and disease.  The only cure for unforgiveness is humility that recognizes the depth to which we have been forgiven by almighty God.  (God has really had to work on my heart in this area with family).  For those of you that also struggle in this area remember you can do all things through Christ.

  • Thinking together may take more time upfront but ultimately the connection and the intimacy you create together will more than make up for that.



young couple in love at the empty house


Verse of the day:

John 14_27


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How to Handle different Parenting Styles


While most parents would agree they have the children’s best interest at heart.  They might quantify “best” differently and end up arguing about everything from diapering to discipline.  As much as you have in common with your spouse, there’s a good chance you have different parenting styles.  You’re both making choices based on how you were raised.  We all come into relationships with our own belief systems from our upbringing.

Personally I think old school parenting is the best.  Love and discipline.  Sometimes tough love if need be.  I think the norm with two parent American households are Dads are disciplinarians, and Moms handle emotional issues.  Sometimes those roles are reversed and Mom is tougher than Dad, (she’s the disciplinarian) and Dad has the more relaxed style of parenting.

A stumbling block with parenting is a lack of communication between couples.  Couples have to make sure they are on the same page with the type of parents they want to  be.  If you are total polar opposites when it comes to disciplining your kids, they will end up going to one parent and not another, or just end up having a stronger relationship with one.  They can also pit parents against each other, which can really complicate your relationship and become contentious.

  1. Always present a united front to the kids.  Hash out your differences behind closed doors.  Whether at home or in a therapist office.

  2. Agree to disagree.  This okay on some issues if it’s done with respect. Next, reach a compromise that’s in the best interest of everyone involved.

  3. Discuss the issue or issues first with each other.  Decide how you will handle it in advance.  Next present your conclusions to the children.

  4. Identify which strategies work the best, whether his or yours.  It’s not a competition, it’s what works best for the entire family.

  5. Never undermine your husband.  For Instance if Dad tells your son he may not play video games for a week, and your son asks you if he can play video games. You simply reiterate to your son what his Dad has said, case closed.  Then your son or daughter now knows that you two are on the same page you support each other and they have just run into a roadblock.  Chances are they are not going to try that again.  and if they do, you just keep giving them the “same drill” until it sinks in.






Happy family in the park

Verse of the day:


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