The biggest reason why we settle in unhappy relationships is because we’re afraid of being alone. As humans and social creatures we constantly crave for social, and physical intimacy all the time. The thought of being alone makes us feel terrible. Personally I feel it’s better to be alone with your self-respect then with someone who doesn’t make you happy or add value to your life. When we’re single we have to find the courage to stand alone some time.
I heard something that was really interesting to me. A woman is made from the man’s rib, because of this there is a deep-seated need to fit somewhere, and sometimes she’ll try to fit where she doesn’t belong!!!! Many relationships painfully drag themselves on well past their expiration date causing emotional trauma, wasted time, etc… Doesn’t sound like a fun time to me.
10 Excuses you use to settle in an unhappy relationship
- You rationalize. You tell yourself it’s not the best relationship but it’s good enough for me. You are not viewing yourself as a high value woman.
- I’m sure he will change one day. You know he’s never going to change. And even if change is in his future only God can change a person.
- My time will come. You decide to weather the storm and put up with the relationship with the hope that you will meet the right person eventually. You have to let go to make room for the new in your life.
- Time will heal everything. You think if you just wait long enough it will work out. There are millions of women who are in longterm relationships (years) without a commitment. For example you’ve been seeing him 5 to 7 years or more without a solid commitment. Men are only going to do what you let them get away with.
- I don’t want to be alone. You’re terrified of being alone. What if we break up and I don’t find anyone else? Ask yourself how unhappy are you right now? Would you rather be alone and happy or in a miserable relationship that lowers your self-esteem?
- The sex is great. But the relationship sucks. Putting sex first is never, never going to get you closer to what you want, which is a long-term commitment.
- What about our children, commitments, dreams. Your kids aren’t as naive as you think. Chances are they are already negatively affected by the way you and your partner argue and treat each other. What they need is a loving home with both parents and if that’s not possible you can agree to co parent and work on the common goal of doing what is best for the kids.
- I’m financially dependant on my partner. You may need your partner financially. I tell my daughter that no matter who you are with always keep your independence so that if it doesn’t work out you can leave. Also, if finances are the only reason you’re with the person its doomed to fail anyway. If you do not love your partner you need to be honest and start depending on yourself. And if you’ve never done that perhaps now is the time to start.
- I’m too used to my partner. When you’ve been in a relationship for years and years the person can start to feel like an old shoe. Very comfortable. Break out of that complacency mode. Complacency is an obstacle to your future.
- I can deal with this. The question is not whether you can deal with an unhappy relationship. The bigger question is: “Why are you”? Don’t think you deserve better? Because you are not going to get any better than you believe. Life is too short to live with unhappiness.
- Be completely honest and forthright. “These are the reasons that I’m unhappy,” I no longer choose to live like this anymore. Having exhausted every possibility to save your marriage the dissolution of a marriage is not to be taken lightly and should be avoided. However the bible has 3 instances where it’s permissible to divorce. Those reasons are, Adultery, Abuse and Abandonment. So sometimes saving the marriage isn’t an option and that’s understandable.
- If it is a situation where you are being abused and afraid of your partner and or afraid for your children’s safety. Take refuge quickly with a family member, close friend, or battered woman’s shelter until you can get back on your feet.
- If you would like to save the marriage. Be clear on why you’re unhappy be clear that a change has to be made in order for the relationship to continue and give your spouse a chance to turn things around. God can do amazing things, and if it’s meant to be you’ll be together. Relationships can rebound from a difficult time and come back stronger.