Archive | July 2016



Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥



Beach near San José del Cabo, Mexico at sunrise

Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

Summer Fling? Or the Real Thing?

Couple Holding Hands At Outdoor Restaurant Table

Summer romances can be tricky.  It’s one of the hardest seasons to tell if your impending courtship will be short lived or last beyond the season for the long haul.  The heat is on and it’s hunting season for the primal male.  Some men look at summer flings as an alternative to commitment.  Men can be really smooth at laying on the charm to reel you in.  So unless you want to be his fair weather friend, learn to spot if a relationship is a summer fling or the real thing.


  • A fling.  Is careless and effortless with almost no effort made to impress.  Because after all flings have an ending, (usually bad).  They’re just a trade off for immediate fun instead of long term fulfillment.  What you may believe are “dates” are really just “hangouts”.   There is little chance you’re meeting the family, so don’t sell yourself short.  You deserve to be pursued, courted, and treated like a lady.  Anything less is waste of your time and you’ll wind up feeling empty inside.


  •  The real thing.  A relationship is the real thing when two people bring emotional intimacy into the relationship.  Not sex.  Emotional intimacy means honesty and closeness and two people start to care about common interests.  It’s a “willful” thing meaning you are consciously making the decision to want to know about this person more than just a surface level.  They desire a companion for a long term relationship.
  • Smart tip of the day: Always remember that “Lust takes” and “Love gives”

Psalm 55:12, “His words are as smooth as butter yet war is in his heart.  His words are more soothing than oil yet they are drawn swords.”




Verse of the Day:


Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

How to communicate your needs in a Relationship


You have a right to ask for the things you need in a relationship.  In fact  you have a responsibility to yourself and your partner to be clear about your needs.  Relying on mind reading to get your needs fulfilled can create feelings of anger and contempt.  If left unchecked this could even bring about the demise of your relationship.  To keep your relationship strong and happy it’s up to you to make your needs clearly known.

You are the expert on yourself, no one else, not even your partner can read your mind and know what you need in the way of support, intimate contact, time alone, domestic order, independence, sex, love financial security, etc..

So if articulating your needs is not something you’ve felt comfortable doing, how do you start going about it?  And how do you do it in a way that doesn’t create defensiveness and anger?  You want to present your needs in such a way that your partner will be willing to listen and fulfill those needs.

5 Things to keep in mind

  • Keep your tone of voice level and as calm as possible.  Don’t let anger or annoyance creep into your voice. Using even a slightly heated, annoyed, accusatory or patronizing tone, can escalate things into an unproductive argument.
  • Pick a time when your partner can give you their full attention.  You don’t want their annoyance about the circumstances to color how they receive your request.  Select a time when they are in a good mood and ready to listen.
  •  Start out by expressing a small need rather than a large contentious one.  This is especially true if your relationship has been struggling.  Once you start meeting each other’s needs successfully, you’ll be in a better position to tackle more polarizing problems.
  • Don’t feel like having to “ask” for something makes it less valuable.  (as if I shouldn’t have to ask)  If you want your needs met I think you should.  Don’t take the attitude of, “if he loved me he would know”, or if he wasn’t so selfish he’d just naturally do it.



  • Request a change in behavior rather than attacking the person, and above all be specific. (Below are a few examples of what to say and how to say it.)


  • “You’re a slob, I want you to be neater.”  Instead say, “I would really like it and it would be helpful to me if you could put your dirty dishes away in the dishwasher and close the cabinets when you’re done.”
  • “I want you to be less critical of me.”  Instead say,  “It’s really hurtful when you make jokes about my weight.  I would appreciate it if you didn’t do that.”
  • “You don’t know how to demonstrate your love.”  Instead say, It would mean a lot to me if you would give me a kiss when I came home from work and ask me how my day was.”
  • “You are so clingy.”  Instead say,  “I would like to hang out with my friends once a month.”


  • Oftentimes it’s not what we say but how we say it that makes a huge difference in successful communication.
  • If you’re on the receiving end of a “needs” request.  One of the most important things to do is to try and accept the others person’s “quirks.”  You may not understand why he or she likes things done in a certain way or why something that seems so trivial to you may be important to them.  The more you can compromise, and accommodate, each other’s unique needs the happier you both will be.


  • There’s a right way and a wrong way to do things.  I think we all want the best results from our relationships.

Young couple sitting on a sofa, drinking, talking. Click here for more "people at home" images: [url=my_lightbox_contents.php?lightboxID=1507925][img][/img][/url]


Portrait Of Young Couple Sitting In Park



  • Prosperity doesn’t just mean “money”.  It means “wholeness”.  God wants you to be whole (translation: successful),  in every area of your life.

Verse of the day:


Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

Dating after Divorce



Think nothing can be more stressful than a divorce?  Try dating after a divorce, which can be a major source of anxiety for recently separated singles.  Navigating the dating scene after divorce does involve getting out of your comfort zone.  But it doesn’t have to be as stressful if you’re willing to embrace a healthy mindset. People expect that dating will be the same as it was in their 20’s and it’s not at all.  The pool is different at this age and stage of your life.  People have life experiences and stress to contend with.

Although things have changed out in the world and in your relationships, meeting new people doesn’t have to be an anxiety inducing experience.  With the right mindset and your willingness to embrace this period in your life it can actually be quite interesting and fun and help you to focus on the future!



  1. Get in touch with yourself first.  Before you even think of going on a date you need time.  You need time for the process to run it’s course.  You need time to grieve, time to reflect, time to heal, time for prayer to seek God’s direction for the next phase of your life.  You really want to focus on yourself at this point.  Your needs, your desires, being good to yourself and being patient with yourself.  Do renew your image with an updated wardrobe and a little pampering.  After you have regained your strength you’re going to desire the company of a man.  The best way to get over a man is with a new man, a better man!


2. Connect with single friends.  Begin to socialize with other singles with whom you have common ground.  Don’t sit at home waiting for the phone to ring or watching your inbox.  You can actually be out having a good time and being seen and not waiting around for him.  Often when a woman releases herself from the pressure of the “wait game” and just decides “you know what”  I’m going to enjoy myself anyway with or without a man, that’s usually when he arrives.


3. Get online and keep your options open.   Chances are having been married for so long you’re not the “club or bar” type girl.  You’re probably not socializing much at this point and frankly putting yourself out there again is intimidating.  Exploring your options online in private is a more comfortable situation for you.  Find a reputable site.  Stay away from the “hook up sites” as you are looking for a suitable companion leading to a mature long-term relationship.  Only respond to men that are on the same page as you otherwise you’re just wasting time.  There are many suitable professionals online who are looking for quality companions.


4. Don’t get discouraged when things don’t work out.  It’s part of the process . Every date you have is not going to be a home run, and it’s okay.  The point is you’re back in the game and you’re bound to hit it out of the park at some point.  It’s about meeting new people and having a good time regardless of the outcome because guess what tomorrow is another day!


5.  Don’t dish on the details too early.  Prepare in advance what you want your date to know about you.  Do not talk about your messy divorce, or how you’re in a custody battle.  Keep conversation light and fun.


6. Be a good listener.  Everyone likes to be heard.  Some women sabotage their date by talking too much and not letting their date get a word in edge wise.  This is a bad start and not the type of woman who’s going to get asked out for a second date.


7.  Plan your conversations.  It’s been a long time since you were out in the dating world.  You may be a little rusty keeping chatter lively.  It would be beneficial for you to plan what you’re going to say or what questions you want to ask.  This is simply called having a game plan.  Ask questions about their interests and what they like to do for fun.  This way you get to learn more about them and keep control of the conversation.


8. Be a little mysterious.  Remember your date wants to know about you.  Have a few fun stories that will let your personality shine without giving away too much. The first date is a preview not the time to tell your whole life story.  If the question comes up “Why did you break up?”  Have a prepared answer that’s simple and to the point like “We grew apart” or “We wanted different things out of life”, and move on.


9.  Take it slow.  When you are dating post divorce, yes you would like to meet someone, but it doesn’t have to be that day.  Take your time until the right person comes along.  It may be weeks, months or even  years, and that’s totally normal.

Businessmen and women having lunch, smiling

10.  Meet in a public place for first dates, or maybe for the first few dates.  However long it takes for you to be comfortable.  Whether it’s lunch, dinner, or for coffee.  It could be a group date with other people for the first time.  You can decide if you would like to have a solo date with him.  Stay safe.


11.  Watch out for red flags.  Don’t ignore them because you’re eager to have someone in your life again.  If something or someone doesn’t seem right to you or are too good to be true it probably is.  Trust your instincts.  After what you’ve been through the last thing you want to do is invite drama into your life.

Verse of the Day:


Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

Breaking Addictions

breaking-free-from-addictions_wide_t (1)

Addictions are not exclusive to drugs alone nor are they solely physically based.  Addiction can be psychological or physically based.  So what is Addiction?  Addiction is a condition that results when a person engages in an activity that can be pleasurable but the continued act or use of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work, relationships or health.

  • A physical condition.  This is a biological state in which the body adapts to the presence of a drugs or alcohol.
  • A psychological addiction.  The need to take action under certain kinds of stresses, and can account for why people switch addictive actions to one substance or another, or a person place or  thing.
  • Addiction is a spiritual problem.  You have to gain control of your spirit.  Proverbs 25:28, “a man that has no control over his spirit is like a city broken into without walls.”  There’s no chemical solution to a spiritual problem.  You may sincerely want to stop the addiction in your life , Paul said in Romans 7 :15, “the thing I want to do I don’t do and the thing I don’t want to do I do.”  The reason addiction is so hard to break is Galatians 5:17, “the flesh is opposed to the spirit and the spirit opposed to the flesh.”

Top 10 Addictions

1. Drugs



Crystal Meth and powder cocaine

Depending on how long you’ve been using, you can either go cold turkey or you may need to go to a treatment center.  All major cities have drug abuse centers.

2. Porn

Man on sofa watching television

Therapist tell clients not to fight the urges let them come but only don’t succumb to them either.  If porn is your habit replace that habit with something positive that will benefit you.  Hypnosis are used in overcoming addictions as well.  There is help if you can’t do it on your own and there’s lots of information on porn addiction and how to kick on the internet.

3. Food


Emotional eating is when you eat when you’re sad, eat when your happy, eat for no reason at all other than the fact that food comforts you.  Ballooning your weight to three hundred pounds is not healthy nor does it benefit you in any way positive.

4. Gambling

Gambler placing a bet at the roulette table at the casino. Risky entertainment of gambling

Gamblers usually have to hit rock bottom and loose everything before their addiction gets their attention.  Gamblers anonymous is one of the oldest organizations to help with gambling addictions.

5. A man


You can’t stand the thought of being away from him even for a second.  So you constantly call, text, email, stop by unexpectedly.  Constantly question him about where he is or who he’s with.  Therapy can help with addiction to a person and help you to identify some underlying issues you may have that cause you to be insecure.

6. Smoking


1, 2, 3, packs or more a day, everyday, all year long.  Smoking can lead to of course cancer, emfazema, heart disease, birth defects, diabetes, wrinkles.  There are a thousand ways to kick, there’s the smoking patch, the gum, or vapor can be used to ween you off smoking.


7. Smart Phone addiction

If your phone causes you to be withdrawn from social interaction and you can’t be without it even for a single second it’s obsessive.  It’s the 21st century addiction.  Phone and internet addictions are real and there’s treatment.  Look up phone and internet addiction on the net.

Couple embracing and still using their mobile phones

8. Internet


Do you spend more time on the net than with family and friends?  Does the internet consume your life? You are addicted to the internet and not know it.  There is help to get your usage under control.

9. Video Games


8.5 percent of American youth are addicted to video games.  Our son spends a lot of time on video games but we’re not worried because he also has a job and a social life.  But again, if it causes your children to not be engaged in real life that’s when it becomes a problem.  Internet, phone and video game addiction fall under the same umbrella and there is help.

10. Pain killers, prescription meds


FDA approved prescription meds abuse is on the rise.  They can be quite tough to kick the longer you abuse them.  People are using rehabs to combat this almost epidemic use of prescription meds.


Verse of the Day:

Bible Verse Wallpaper

Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

Spending Quiet time with God


We were created to have fellowship with God. This is the most basic thing you can do in order to grow.  He died so that we can have a relationship with him.  This relationship is the goal of Christianity and where the true joy in being a Christian is found.  So if we neglect it we’re missing the whole point. Personally I can’t make it without Him!  And there is no other help that I know of.

When you have a problem do you run to the phone or the throne?  Because see, family and friends are great, but they cannot help us the way God can.  They don’t have His resurrection power to change our lives, change our hearts, change our minds, and ultimately change our futures.  Now, God will use people to work through to bless you, but even that is by his power!  Zechariah 4:6, “Not by your power, nor by might but by my Spirit saith the Lord!”

You don’t have the power in and of yourself to change things, and without God you will be in a constant state of struggle for the rest of your life.  Don’t you want to come to a place in your life where you stop struggling?  Don’t you want to come to a place where things begin to get easier for you?  That’s what happens when you spend time with God and build relationship with Him.  He will be with you, He will “send the Holy Spirit to guide you into all truth”, John 16:13.

It’s the truth that sets us free.  It’s not the truth about somebody else that sets us free it’s the truth about you.  And when we can see ourselves clearly we can change anything.  He will send His angels to protect to you.  You will be able to hear his voice, he will give you discernment.  Does this mean you will never have a problem?  No it does not.  God’s word tells us clearly in the bible that the “rain falls on the just and unjust alike”,  Matthew 5 :45.

What He will do is give you peace in the middle of the trial and you will grow, and become more spiritually strong.  The more I learned to lean on God the more I realized how much I needed Him. I need Him to be able to hold my peace when I don’t feel like it.  I need Him to be able to hold my tongue, I need Him to help me make right decisions, I need His protection from enemies, I need Him to prosper, I need Him to teach me the right way to do things.  I need Him to forgive when I don’t feel like it.  I need Him to be able to Love when it’s not easy, I need Him to be patient with me, I need Him to help me be patient with others.  I need Him to give me favor with the right connections and people in life.  Proverbs 21:1, “The heart of the king is in God’s hands.”

Some of you may be frustrated right now and don’t know why.  You’re frustrated because you’re disconnected from the source.  The lamp does not come on when it’s not plugged in.  You have to be connected to the source.  Your soul belongs to God.  John 15:5, “I am the vine and you are the branches if you abide in me you will bear much fruit but apart from me you can do nothing.”

As God is a spirit how do I spend time with God?

  • Through Prayer
  • Simply reading God’s word from the bible.  His word contains power and goes to work on your mind as you read!  Hebrews 4:12,  “For the word of God is living and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword  piercing even to the dividing  asunder of soul and spirit  and of the joints and marrow and is a discerner of thoughts and intents of the heart.”  Luke 7:14,  “They got healed as they went.”
  • Talking to him, talk as if talking to a friend he hears you.  Some days I simply tell him, God it’s going to be a tough day I need you to help get me through this.  Other times I like to thank him for my many blessings and relay them in my mind and out loud to him like, God thank you for helping me to get my college degree, thank you for helping me with the enormous cost of this or that.  Thank you that I’m in good health.  God I need help with discipline on and on and on.  I bring it all to Him!!  And you never get to a point where you’re this perfect person but you’re better than you used to be.  Things just seem to flow more naturally and like Paul says, I may not be there yet, “but this one thing I do forgetting what lies behind and pressing on to those things which are ahead” Philippians 3:13.
  • Quiet your soul. Get rid of the distractions.  Turn the phone off, turn the TV off, turn the radio off, you may even need to tune out some people.  Get by yourself and fellowship with God. Mark 1:35,  “Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.”


What happens when we spend time with God?

  • We can refocus and get our minds off the world and the worries around us
  • We more easily find out what God wants for our lives.
  • We find it easier to worship Him
  • We become more like Him
  • Most importantly the more time we spend with God the more we love Him!










A woman praying with her hands together on white background

Verse Of the Day:



Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥



Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥





Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

Couples Summer Getaway to the Cayman Islands


The beautiful Cayman Islands is a British Overseas Territory in the western Caribbean Sea.  The 264 kilometer territory comprises the three islands of Grand Cayman, Cayman, Brac, and Little Cayman located south of Cuba.  There’s no better way to experience a Caribbean vacation than under the crystal clear waters of the Caribbean Sea surrounded by colorful corals and exotic wildlife.

    Cayman Activities

  • You’ll never be short of things to do in the Cayman Islands.  World-class scuba diving, snorkeling, fishing, and sailing are just the beginning of your island adventure. The island’s history is rich in exotic detail.
  • 16 Beaches in all.  The Seven Mile Beach is the most well known names, it’s one of the “Ultimate” Beaches by Caribbean and travel.
  • Diving and Snorkeling.  The Cayman Islands is home to some of the most sought after and popular dive sites.
  • Watersports, Kitesurfing, Paddle boarding, parasailing, banana boats, yacht tours, boating fishing sailing, kayak.
  • Exploring, Explore the exotic at Botanic Park and National trust.  Heritage garden, Floral Gardens
  • Shopping.  In addition to the shops in town there are many small malls which have restaurants and gift shops and best of all Cayman Island shopping is duty free.
  • Wellness.  Pamper your body, relax your mind, and soothe your soul.  After a day enjoying all there is to do and see in one of the many Cayman spas, salons, and fitness centers.
  • Weddings.  Be the envy of all your friends, get married in this Exotic tropical paradise.  Island staff work hard to make your guest feel welcome and give you the wedding of a lifetime.
  • Nightlife.  When the sun goes down in the Cayman Islands the fun begins.  The island truly shines at night.  Cayman nightlife includes, jazz, folk, rock and roll, reggae and calypso.

Cayman - Fondo Marino 5





Verse of the day:


Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

Single Ladies : How to attract the Guy you Want

A beautiful and sophisticated young woman having coffee at a modern city cafe table with her friend a smart dressed businessman

“Men are more intimidated than ever to approach a woman in the 21st century”  I found this out while reading a male blog.  Written by a man for males.  In this article the writer said the reason men are intimidated today is because  they feel like women are just as capable as they are nowadays, with career and education.  So men are lacking the confidence that their forefathers had when roles were more clearly defined.  Keep in mind this is not going to apply to every man.

There are men who are secure enough in themselves to admire a woman’s accomplishments.  And furthermore, he feels she will be an asset to their life, and that’s the man you want.  However, even if a man is secure in himself, some women frankly are just unapproachable at times without knowing it.  You may be interested in a guy but simply don’t know how to let him know in a subtle lady like way.  Below are three simple ways to give off a more inviting energy to attract more beaus without saying a word.

How-to-Attract-a-Man (1)

3 Simple Ways to show a Man you’re Interested

  • Smile.  By far the easiest and simplest way to show a man you’re receptiveness to him.  A warm smile can ignite a man’s courage to walk up to you.
  •  Eye Contact.  Between a nice smile and 3 to 5 seconds of eye contact, this says to a man “She’s checking me out” I got to go talk to her.  The combination of a smile and eye contact subconsciously tells a man that you are approving of him for further communication.
  • Pull away from the pack.  When you’re on the hunt for a potential mate go out by yourself. You’re single, you have plenty of time for your girlfriends, but if you don’t want to stay single take care of business first.  A man may never go in for the approach if you’re surrounded by your protective clan.  Some things a woman has to do on her own.




Verse of the day:


Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

It’s a great time to be a Single Woman over 40


Women 40+ are the fastest growing sector of the U. S. workforce and their presence in the workplace will continue to increase.  However they encounter real challenges like finding meaningful, employment, competitive wages, childcare, retirement, security.  Many working women are caregivers to children or aging parents.  How do they do it all?  It’s by the grace of God.  This group of women are also the fastest growing group in the workplace acquiring home ownership.


  • There are a great many opportunities for women today in terms of education and business.

  • It’s not going to be easy being a single mom and trying to juggle all the responsibilities but if you are serious about creating a great life for you and your children in the absence of husband it absolutely can be done.

  • It’s actually a really great time to be single and over 40.  At this point your career is established, you have the investment of a home and security for the future. You are a strong woman and a great catch, a strong man who admires a capable woman can not be far behind.

  • When you reach a certain point in your life when you’ve proven yourself to yourself, don’t settle for less than what you deserve in a man.

  • You are accomplished and capable, don’t base your completeness on whether or not you have someone in your life.  The man God has for you will consider himself lucky to have you.

5 Ways to prepare to receive a Partner

  • Moving forward be proud of yourself and your accomplishments.
  • Keep God first in your life.
  • Be open to love.
  • Search yourself and make the necessary changes you need to make within yourself to be ready when love finds you.
  • Look for a leader.  A man with leadership qualities.

Maintain hope for the future.  Feel good about yourself, stay in prayer, be patient, have realistic expectations and partner with someone who is an asset not a liability.

Embrace this age and this stage in your life. Finding love later in life is a blessing. n It’s a blessing that the last relationship didn’t work out because now you know more about what works for you and want doesn’t, you know what your deal breakers are.  Now you can go forward with confidence, your relationship with God has been strengthened you’re older, wiser, and have some life lessons under your belt.  Your’e more experienced now and there’s lots more living to do.  Your kids are growing up needing you less, hold on to God and the best is yet to come!


Verse of the day:


Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

Changing your Thinking


So many people’s problems are rooted in their way of thinking.  Which can actually produce a lot of the problems they experience.  There is a direct connection between our thoughts, the words we speak, and our behavior.  However we are concentrating on the mind today.  A negative mind produces negative words and consequently a negative life.

Our words actually become traps that cause us to continue a cycle of negative thoughts and actions.  We’re all tempted at one time or another to speak negatively.  But we do not have to give into those temptations but it takes work!  It takes work and by that I mean continual practice to get control of your spirit and let it override the flesh.  Negative thoughts and negative thinking makes you an extremely sour and negative person that’s not going to attract much good in their life.  To turn our words around we need to start thinking about what we’re thinking about and then make some real changes.

5 Ways to Change your Thinking

  1. Replace a negative report with a positive one.  You may ask is it as simple as that?  It is, if done on a continual basis until you form the habit of positive thinking.  For example; you have a family member in the hospital and your distraught because you fear the worst, well they could recover and become better than ever.  Don’t ever count God out you never know what He’s going to do or how he will bless you.

  2. Be open to new ideas.  There’s a whole world of positive opportunities and possibilities out there if you would just allow yourself to focus on them.  I don’t care that your situation looks bad right now as a Christian we walk by faith not by sight.

  3. Fill your mind with the gift of controlled and conscious thought.  If you can experience pain, anxiety, and anger through your thoughts you can conversely experience, joy, happiness and love through your thoughts.  You’re focusing on the wrong things.  The Bible tells us what to think on Philippians 4:8, “Whatsoever is of good report, praiseworthy, noble, admirable, lovely, think on these things.”  Pause and think before you speak.  Now that you have become aware of your thoughts, get control of your mouth.

  4. Pause for a minute and think about what you’re going to say or maybe the best way to say what you want to say.  Pray to God to help you to open your mouth with wisdom when you speak.  Proverbs 31:26,  “She opens her mouth with wisdom.” I prayed that same prayer a couple of weeks ago.

  5. Be patient with yourself.  We have to choose to think and speak positively.  It doesn’t happen naturally or overnight.  It actually takes a lot of practice and some days will be better than others. Just get back up dust yourself off and start again.


change-your-thinking-change-your-life (1)




Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥

Being taken for Granted and how to Stop It


Do you find yourself taken for granted all the time?   Either by your family, friends, or in relationships?  You may be assertive and in control in your life and a loving and caring person.  But somewhere along the way you discovered that the people you love are taking you and the things you do for them for granted almost all the time.  I’ve found that the best course of action when you feel you’re being taken advantage of is simply stop.  If you feel your efforts go unappreciated, stop putting in the effort.  (that’s what I do)  There’s a saying that “you never miss your water until the well runs dry”, and it’s true.  Also its biblical to pull back at times in relationships.  Ecclesiastes 3, says, “there’s a time for everything, a time for giving and a time for refraining.”  You may have also heard of Job 1:21, “The Lord giveth and the Lord takes away.”  See if you can identify any of the traits below within yourself and once you’ve identified them you can move toward overcoming it.

These 5 truths below will help you identify personality traits that result in you being taken for granted.

© WavebreakmediaMicro - Fotolia.com2
 1. You can’t say no!
 You have a hard time declining something people ask of you.  You’d rather take on commitments or responsibilities than say no.  You may think you’re being sweet but your inability to say no will only make others take you for granted and hate you when you don’t help them again.  Spreading yourself too thin isn’t fair to you or healthy.

  • You put a stop to this by giving non-committal answers and simply, politely, respond:  “I’ll let you know if I can do that.  I have a lot on my plate right now I don’t want to take on too much.”  Sorry, I can’t.  Or simply “No”.

2. You’re too sweet.  You’re a people pleaser and you just can’t be rude to others.  You convince yourself that you’re a sweet person in a bad world.  But in reality you may be the idealistic push-over in a real world who’s too sweet and nice.  This enables others to take advantage because they know they can.

  • You put a stop to this by being forthright with them.  You don’t have to be rude to get your point across.  You don’t even have to yell or scream or any of that, just simply express yourself.  Also people can only take advantage of you to the point you let them.  So the next time you tell them that you can’t do it and they get mad at you, Good!!  Now you can be rid of them or at least their requests.  And who knows, it might even make them appreciate you a little more ha?

3.  You can’t be alone.  You constantly feel the need to have someone as a witness to your life.   Independence scares you.  You find it easier to go out of your way to go along to get along with someone who treats you badly instead of being alone.  The problem is you don’t feel comfortable by yourself.  I’m married, but I love my alone time.

  •  You can put a stop to this by facing your feelings of being alone and letting go of all negative relationships.  Spend time alone and hear what your spirit is telling you.

4.  You don’t believe in yourself.  Somewhere deep inside you doubt yourself and your capabilities.  You find flaws within yourself and see others as flawless.  You’re broken from the inside and feel a constant need to please others and be accepted by them.

  •  You put a stop to this by knowing that you are  accepted and loved by God and pray that He delivers you from people pleasing and pray to bring out the strength in you…

5.  You can’t confront people.  No one likes an unpleasant situation, but if you feel like you’re being taken for granted confront the issue.

  • You put a stop to this by confronting the person it can only go two ways.  One, the person will apologize and acknowledge your feelings.  You can then move forward from there and the  issue stops.  Or the person will get mad at you for speaking up in which case they are only concerned with themselves.





Verse of the Day:


Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥



Thoughts or comments on this post?  We’d love to hear from you.
Click the “Leave a Comment” link below.  ♥