Being taken for Granted and how to Stop It

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Do you find yourself taken for granted all the time?   Either by your family, friends, or in relationships?  You may be assertive and in control in your life and a loving and caring person.  But somewhere along the way you discovered that the people you love are taking you and the things you do for them for granted almost all the time.  I’ve found that the best course of action when you feel you’re being taken advantage of is simply stop.  If you feel your efforts go unappreciated, stop putting in the effort.  (that’s what I do)  There’s a saying that “you never miss your water until the well runs dry”, and it’s true.  Also its biblical to pull back at times in relationships.  Ecclesiastes 3, says, “there’s a time for everything, a time for giving and a time for refraining.”  You may have also heard of Job 1:21, “The Lord giveth and the Lord takes away.”  See if you can identify any of the traits below within yourself and once you’ve identified them you can move toward overcoming it.

These 5 truths below will help you identify personality traits that result in you being taken for granted.

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 1. You can’t say no!
 You have a hard time declining something people ask of you.  You’d rather take on commitments or responsibilities than say no.  You may think you’re being sweet but your inability to say no will only make others take you for granted and hate you when you don’t help them again.  Spreading yourself too thin isn’t fair to you or healthy.

  • You put a stop to this by giving non-committal answers and simply, politely, respond:  “I’ll let you know if I can do that.  I have a lot on my plate right now I don’t want to take on too much.”  Sorry, I can’t.  Or simply “No”.

2. You’re too sweet.  You’re a people pleaser and you just can’t be rude to others.  You convince yourself that you’re a sweet person in a bad world.  But in reality you may be the idealistic push-over in a real world who’s too sweet and nice.  This enables others to take advantage because they know they can.

  • You put a stop to this by being forthright with them.  You don’t have to be rude to get your point across.  You don’t even have to yell or scream or any of that, just simply express yourself.  Also people can only take advantage of you to the point you let them.  So the next time you tell them that you can’t do it and they get mad at you, Good!!  Now you can be rid of them or at least their requests.  And who knows, it might even make them appreciate you a little more ha?

3.  You can’t be alone.  You constantly feel the need to have someone as a witness to your life.   Independence scares you.  You find it easier to go out of your way to go along to get along with someone who treats you badly instead of being alone.  The problem is you don’t feel comfortable by yourself.  I’m married, but I love my alone time.

  •  You can put a stop to this by facing your feelings of being alone and letting go of all negative relationships.  Spend time alone and hear what your spirit is telling you.

4.  You don’t believe in yourself.  Somewhere deep inside you doubt yourself and your capabilities.  You find flaws within yourself and see others as flawless.  You’re broken from the inside and feel a constant need to please others and be accepted by them.

  •  You put a stop to this by knowing that you are  accepted and loved by God and pray that He delivers you from people pleasing and pray to bring out the strength in you…

5.  You can’t confront people.  No one likes an unpleasant situation, but if you feel like you’re being taken for granted confront the issue.

  • You put a stop to this by confronting the person it can only go two ways.  One, the person will apologize and acknowledge your feelings.  You can then move forward from there and the  issue stops.  Or the person will get mad at you for speaking up in which case they are only concerned with themselves.

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Verse of the Day:

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4 thoughts on “Being taken for Granted and how to Stop It

  1. Hi
    My name is Chinonye. I feel resentful and taken for granted by family members. I have a sister who is mentally handicapped, and can’t do most things for herself. I’m the only one who baths her all the time. I have spoken to my mum and sister to help out but it has all fallen on deaf ears . There’s usually a honeymoon period where they bath her maybe once, and when you remind them again, it seems like as if I’m disturbing them. I don’t see my family in a negative light but ever since I noticed this, I’m feeling the need to be away from them, I feel unloved due to the fact that I’m abandoned with such a heavy duty of bathing my sister everyday without help from them, I feel resentful towards them, I’m struggling seriously with it, I’ve even begun to doubt myself if I was wrong for complaining. I feel guilty about thinking of keeping my distance from them. I’m such a nervous wreck at this point in time . please what do I do? I’ve discussed this with them but to no avail. Do you think I’m taking this too personal? Thanks in anticipation of your advice.

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    • Hi there Chinonye,
      Happy New Year! Thank you for your question. Bless your heart for stepping up and taking care of your sister. She is lucky to have you. Yes it can be very frustrating when we feel like no one is listening and were not receiving help. You’re right, the care of your sister should not fall solely on you. The care of your sister should be a family responsibility where you all take turns caring for her. There are two ways you can deal with this, you can communicate and put the issue on the table, or withdraw from your family and harbor deeper resentment. My advice is to tell them how you feel. Your feelings are important and need to be expressed. You said you have spoken to them, but it’s fallen on deaf ears. This situation has caused some resentment on your part toward your mum and sister, understandably. So my advice is to tell them how you feel. Your feelings are important and need to be expressed again until it becomes clear. Sometimes people have good intentions but it’s not always followed by actions. Also when people see that you are so consistent it takes the pressure off of them and they can become lazy. Not in a mean or negative way but simply state the truth! You’re the one taking care of her most of the time, and it needs to be all of you. Talk with them, work out a schedule that’s doable for all of you. Rotate days so that everyone is helping because it is unfair to you. Trust me your kindness towards your sister does not go unnoticed by God He sees you caring for your sister and loves you and will bless you for it. So keep doing the right thing because it’s right. Hebrews 13:6 do not neglect to do good and to share what you have such sacrifices are pleasing to GOD. So what I’m going to do is ask you to change your perspective on this a little from doing it “For” your mum and sister to doing it unto the Lord because you care and you love her. Romans 15:1 We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak. Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, do it unto the Lord not for human masters but you know you will receive an inheritance of the Lord. Whatever we do good or bad it always comes back to us. You are sowing good seeds and it will come back to you! I really hope you all can work this out and come to a workable agreement. I hope the scriptures help, and that things get better for you in the new year. Have a blessed New Year! Good Luck! If you ever need encouragement or advice, have a question or comment, drop a line, love to hear from you and thanks for reading SCW.
      SCW

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