How to Get past looks when finding Love


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and everyone has different physical standards when it comes to choosing a mate.  In the dating world initial physical attraction is the motivator.  Relationships  constructed solely on physicality always crash and burn.  What’s important is a person’s character, how they treat you, how they treat others.  Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful and beauty fades but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.”  1 Samuel 16:7,  “people look at the outward appearance but the lord looks at the heart.”  You have to decide, do you want a “perfect man”?  Or do you want to be loved, cherished, supported, and have a friend and true companion for life?

Ultimately you want someone who is “for you”.  For you, meaning, he will put your needs above his own, love you sacrificially as Christ loved the church.  Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her”.  This is the man you must be patient and wait for.  Remind yourself, at the end of the day, someone who captures your heart is the most important thing in a relationship.  Looks are a small fractional part of building a relationship together.

5 Ways to get past Looks

Fool’s rush in.  Instead of rushing into a relationship or jumping into bed, take the relationship one day at a time.  Just stay friends for the time being and allow yourself to get to know them on a personal level without a physical relationship to break the connection.  Hang out with, talk frequently, after a while you’ll be amazed at how much fun you’re having and the physical attributes won’t be the big deal as you expected.

Look for the person’s greatest strengths.  There has to be something incredible about the person that grabs you.  Are they smart, funny, talented, good at business, compassionate, strong, or a hard worker, lighthearted?  These qualities can be quite a turn on.

Try not to compare the person with those you find attractive.  While it’s easy to divert your attention to someone you consider “hot”, refrain from getting nit picky with physical features.  With some people you’ll find that their looks may be the only thing they have going for them because beauty is only skin deep.

Keep a positive mindset.  Don’t throw away a hidden gem for a frog.  This is especially true for those who are used to dating very physically appealing types.  Often times minor changes can be made that make a big difference.  Such as hairstyle, weight, wardrobe, or anything else that can make a difference in their appearance.  Don’t be afraid to give suggestions and help out without being offensive.

When a man makes a woman feel good, she knows it.  Focus on the way you feel when you are with him.  If he makes you feel good when you are with him, and he’s a person that you like to be around, you enjoy his company, that alone is worth its weight in gold.  When I was dating before marriage the absolute hardest thing to find was someone’s company I enjoyed.  I met guys with great careers, financially stable,etc… but finding someone with whom I clicked remained elusive for many years.  It sounds cliché but who they are on the inside is the person you’ll have to live with good or bad.

Choose wisely!



Verse of the day:


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