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Summer 2017 Most Popular Post Review “Can a Christian Woman Be a Cougar?”

Cougar Women is a very hot topic!  Meet Samantha Taylor Johnson age 50 director of Fifty Shades Of Grey and her younger husband Aaron Johnson age 27.  When they met she was 43 and he was scandalously 19.  Her story is an interesting one.  They met on the set of  her movie “Nowhere Boy” and were married in 2012.  I can see why she would want to live life on her terms at this point in her life as she has survived an ugly divorce and beat cancer twice!  Aaron came into her life and opened up a new world.  Samantha is living her life to the fullest.

I had no idea my post “Can A Christian Woman be a Cougar” would garner so much attention.  It seems the idea of dating a younger man has crossed the minds of many women.  From celebrities to everyday women, from Christian women to non-Christian women.  Conservative business woman Martha Stewart admitted in a TV interview earlier this year that she herself likes and dates younger men.  She says she likes to go at least 10 years younger normally.

I was surprised but I thought good for her!  Okay ten years, but how young is too young?  Young enough to be your son?  Same age as your son. Would that creep your kids out?  I’ll tell you what is morally incorrect, these women teachers that have been in the news lately for having sex with their students.  That’s a crime against a child.  However, when it comes to grown men and grown women in a cougar woman/ younger man relationship they’re both adults.

The media has coined the term age-gap or age disparity relationships.  Can it last?  Is it just about sex?  The idea behind the post “Can a Christian Woman be a Cougar” was to answer the question, “Is it okay for Christian women to date a younger man?”  When you put it that way it sounds harmless.  She’s just dating a younger man.  However there are a lot of dynamics at play in this type of relationship.  There is much to consider.  Is it morally correct?

As a Christian woman being a woman of values, who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong for someone else.  The Bible does not say anything against a younger man older woman relationship.  I think a woman needs to decides what’s going to work for her and what isn’t.  Only she can decide that.  As a Christian whatever type of relationship you have should not jeopardize your values.

If you’re a cougar woman, dating a younger man and reading this, how’s it working out for  you?  There is so much to say about this and we’re going to explore the topic from many different angles.  I’m also going to present first hand advice from experienced cougar women who live the lifestyle and let you draw your own conclusions.

  • Who are Cougar Women?

  • Typically the Cougar Woman is 40 plus yrs old, established, self-assured women who prefer dating younger men.

  • Typically divorced, widowed or single.  Women in general are living longer.  Which means they are healthy and vibrant and still want to have fun.  Not all men but often men in the same age range can begin to slow down.  A man’s sexual peak is in his 20’s.  A woman’s sexual peak can be as late as 40.  At this stage their kids are out of the house.

  • With the numbers of women in business going up every year they are thriving in their careers, and free to date and see whom they wish.  The fact is women dating and marrying younger men is a growing trend.

  • In 2003, 34 percent of women over 40 had dated younger men.  That number has risen now to 67%.  According to the U.S. Census Bureau 12 percent of marriages are between an older women and younger man.  So you’re not alone in your attraction to younger men.

Famous Cougar Relationships

 

  • Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Demi and Ashton looked so good together and seem to be having fun.  Their relationship burned hot for a while.  She gave every older single woman hope that they can be beautiful sexy and attractive to younger men.  And at the time he seemed really happy too.  Kutcher met Moore when he was 25 and she was 41.  They married two years later in September 2005.

Your twenties are a time when you’re figuring out life.  Think of how much a person changes between 25 to 35, there are a number of potential issues.  At best you’re starting from a disadvantage.  Marriage is hard enough under the best circumstances.  He filed for divorce, she said the relationship was over in 2011 and in 2014 they were officially divorced.  And of course he married a younger woman, Mila Kunis whom he met on “That Seventies Show”.

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon

Mariah and Nick met in 2008.  She was 12 years his senior.  They recently divorced in 2015.

Halle Berry was 10 years older than Canadian model Gabriel Aubrey.  They split in 2011.  They did not marry but had a daughter together.

Sharon Stone

Sharon Stone is 59 years old, single, twice divorced and often photographed with younger men.  She strikes me as the type of woman who would be in control of her relationship with a younger man.

  • Sex

My advice to you is to protect your self emotionally.  With men whether he’s younger or not, unless he’s married, sex is just a physical act.  But for women it’s emotional, which is the reason women usually wind up being hurt when it ends.  So if it’s just about sex your going to get what comes with a “just sexual” relationship.  No commitment, and more than likely hurt feelings.

Sex alone is not enough to sustain any relationship with any man no matter his age.  Can it last?  The reality is some do and some don’t, it’s a risk.  The simple truth is there are no guarantees in life.  Except the lord Jesus Christ who is the same yesterday today and forever more.  He loves and cares for you and doesn’t want to see you hurt by any  man.

Since you are the older wiser one, protect yourself emotionally by having the relationship on your own terms.  Meaning you see him and spend time with him when you want.  You keep control of the relationship!  Set boundaries.

 

  • Married Cougars

There is security in marriage, but again no guarantee, as with any relationship.  The relationships that do go the distance are the rare exception.

  • Single cougars

6 Ways to Protect Yourself Emotionally

  • Have the relationship with the younger man on your own terms. You see him and spend time when you want.

  • Keep control of the relationship by setting boundaries.  For instance you may not introduce him to your children.

  • Don’t have unrealistic expectations.  He’s not going to have lived as much life as you have.

  • Although he’s younger, still let him be the man.  This might as well start with you because he’s dating an older woman.  Let him step up to that level by having him pay for dinner and dates.  So it has to be a young man who is working.  He doesn’t need to be equal to you because being a younger man he wont be.  But you certainly don’t want to be his sugar momma.  So I thought the video above brings up a good point by letting him pay for dinner.

  • Don’t try too hard and don’t chase him. You’re still the prize!

  • Never abandon your standards or settle just because he’s younger.  And never invest in a man of any age simply based on his potential.  He should be of proven character and substance.  Even if you can afford to spoil him, he should still be a quality person.

  • So where do cougars and younger men meet?  Meeting online is not the stigma it once was, and today a third of all Americans meet online.  More importantly, where should you avoid meeting a younger man?  For instance there are reputable sites for serious people looking for long-term committed relationships like Match, E-Harmony,  Christian Mingle, and then there are “Hook-Up” sites, stay away from those.  For instance, the website below isn’t where you want to look.

The woman is naked in her underwear saying come and get it.  Now, a young man who preys on older women is also looking for you to take advantage of you and get money, scam you and God’s knows what else.  So just be selective with the sites you choose.  A site like the one below seems just about sex.  She looks like she’s ready to claw through the screen, grab the young man and eat him whole, Yikes!!

Instead give these types of sites a try that seem to focus more on relationship.

  • Seeking Cougar4u

  • Cougar Cruise

  • Cougar dating App

Verse of the day:

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Secrets of Happily Married Couples

Smart and Savvy Couples have learned the habits of happily married couples.  Mostly through trial and error.  Some through reading books, attending seminars or observing other happily married couples.  However there are some universal habits that happily married couples seem to practice for longevity. We will explore them in this post.  Remember success in any endeavor especially marriage is intentional, and ongoing thus habits are formed!

10 Habits of a Happy Marriage

 

  • Communication is the key.  Sounds cliché but it’s absolutely essential to a healthy relationship.  Granted some conversations are hard to have, but the more you practice speaking the truth in love the easier it will get, and the better your relationships will be.  Often times you don’t need to make a huge issue out of things, “just have a conversation”, it’s the number one secret of a happy marriage.

  • Intimacy does not necessarily mean sex.  It could be sex.  But true intimacy is time spent without distractions.  It’s an intentional focus on one another.  Intimacy is honest conversations, being transparent, it’s a quiet moment spent without conversations.  Most importantly intimacy transcends the physical.

“Laughter does a heart good like a medicine,” Proverbs 17:22.  My husband and I have so much fun!  We love to laugh.  It keeps you young and a number of studies have confirmed a happy soul leads to better overall health.

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff.  There are big issues and there are little issues.  Your job is to decide what’s important right now and what isn’t.  Save your strength for the big issues.  My husband has a saying “It’s not worth it!”  So ask yourself is this really worth it?  Keep the big picture in mind.

  • Don’t make the mistake of thinking the grass is greener somewhere else.  The grass is green where you water it.  Your marriage is your garden.  You have to water it, feed it, tend to it, give it lots of time and attention so that it will grow to its fullest potential.

  • Know that only God can change another person.  You can be the change that you want to see in your marriage. You do have the power to change yourself while praying for your mate.  In what way can you be a better spouse?

  • Be humble enough to accept help if needed.  Lots of couples have saved their marriage through counseling.  It’s important to remember we are imperfect people.  We don’t always get it right.  We owe it to ourselves and our spouse to do everything we can to the help the marriage.  Forever is a long time.

  • A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over.  Crisis are like storms, to get through them you have to keep driving.  A crisis can sometimes be a new beginning.  It’s out of pain that great people and great marriages are born and survive.

  • Don’t stop dating your spouse.  Some couples say right now we can’t afford to go out.  You can’t afford not to.  If you’re on a budget, date night doesn’t have to expensive.  Just be together as a couple.  Some of my favorite dates when my husband was courting me was the beach.  I loved taking a blanket to the beach and enjoying the evening breeze with a glass of wine!  Or when we walked the Santa Monica pier and got hot dogs and nachos.  Those were my favorite dates.  Even more so than the fancy restaurants in California.  Go for walk, go for a drive, just connect.

Verse of the Day:

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Summer Wedding Guide 2017

just-married-couple

Planning your one of a kind wedding of a lifetime takes careful consideration to every detail. Understanding wedding costs now can help you with your wedding budget later.  The average cost of a wedding in the United States is 26,000. The planning of a wedding is a collection of decisions.  The decisions you will make will weigh heavily on the cost and outcome of your wedding so choose wisely.  For instance you’ll need to decide If you will be planning your wedding or if you would like to hire a professional wedding planner.  There are a number of options to make your day special on a smaller budget and we will explore those options later in the post. Let’s begin with the basics.

If your planning your first wedding and wondering where does that money go? Let’s see

  • The dress  Of course included in the bride’s budget will be hair and makeup spa, salon, lingerie and shopping. According to bridal association of America the average cost of a wedding dress is $1,500.  On the high end expect $2,000 – $5,000

Tuxedo –  The popular option for men is to rent the tuxedo. Depending on the type, a tux can $300 – $800

  • Wedding Bands – The rings are a little big thing since rings are a  huge part of your budget.  Again depending on the type ring budgets for both can be upwards of $10,000.

  • The wedding party – Although they are technically counted within the number of guests.  The wedding party is a separate deal in my opinion.  That’s because their needs need to be addressed first.  Because depending on the number of groomsmen and bridesmaids, they’ll all have to be fitted and sized for their wardrobe.  A good part of your budget will be spent on the “wedding party” alone.

BridesmaidsIn the mid range bridesmaids dresses cost about $100 – $250 each depending on detail of the dress.

Groomsmen – Traditionally groomsmen will rent.  Tux rental can go from $300 – $800 for mid range or $1,500 for certain brands.

  • Photographer – It’s all about the pictures!  A mid range package cost between $1,200 – $2,800.  Upscale packages starting at $5,000.  Typically budgeting $1,500 for a nice photo package and photographer will work.

  • Videographer – Memories that last a lifetime – the average costs of a videographer ranges from $1,400 – $1,900.  An in-demand videographer may charge upwards of $7,000.  Typically you should budget $1,500 to $2,000.

  • The number of guests – Will it be a small number of guests say, ten?  Or three hundred in attendance? Keep in mind the number of guests will impact the size of the venue for the wedding and reception.  You want to make sure you know how many people the location can accommodate.

  • Flowers  These are one of those things that seem like a small thing but it’s actually an expensive thing. Wedding flowers are expensive.  Decide what you would like your floral arrangement to look like.  $1,000 to $3,000 for the bride, bridesmaids, and wedding location and reception.

  • Where  would you like to have your ceremony?  A good old fashion church wedding?  An outdoor ceremony at a Garden of some sort?  Or the beach?

  • Church There will usually be a fee associated with the church.

  • Outdoor Garden – Garden weddings, privately owned land. can start at $500 – $2,500. Depending on what’s included for instance chair and table rentals.

  • The Beach – even on the beach you will have the cost of the minister, catering and set up can run, $2,000 – $4,000

  •  Some couples opt to have wedding and reception at the same place.  Such as a “winery”.  A wedding and reception at a winery is an elegant option.  The lush grounds, make an awesome backdrop for your wedding.  The best part is after the ceremony the guests can just walk over to a beautifully decorated dining room for the reception.  Not to mention the variety of wines for all the wine buffs on your list which adds a little something extra to the evening, say $6,000 wedding and reception.

  • Reception – Average cost of a wedding reception is between $12,000 – $15,000.  Brides magazine reports that 50% of a couples budget is spent on the reception.

  • Daytime

  • Evening

  • The Cake – one of those items that seems like a little thing but remember little things add up.  $600 – $3,000.  Each tier on a wedding cake adds to the total cost in addition to cake decorations

  • Limousine transportation for the Wedding party – Prices can vary on limousines but rentals start at $200 – $400 for 3 hours each depending on how many cars you need.

Entertainment at reception – Most couples opt for a DJ, or you might want to have a band

Happily ever after

  • Honeymoon- Although separate from the cost of the wedding. In addition is your honeymoon. Some couples view a honeymoon as optional, with the idea in mind that we’ll take a honeymoon later. I’m  NOT one of those people. You should absolutely celebrate the start of your new life together in style and have a ball for at least a week.In fact I suggest making the honeymoon one of your big ticket items in other words do not skimp on this event.

 

8 Ways  to cut the cost of your wedding without looking cheap

  1. The biggest and first thing to do to cut down the cost of your wedding,  Is to cut the number of guests.  Size matters.
  2. Think outside the box!  You don’t have to do things traditionally.  Do what works for you and your budget.  For instance, time of day matters, a buffet lunch is less expensive than evening dinner complete with appetizers and three course meal with desert and champagne.  Also most venue charge more  for night dinners.
  3. Be flexible – Compare your options via the internet.  Before deciding on any purchase.  You may find something better online.
  4. Wedding flowers can run into the thousands.  Stick with flowers that are in season.
  5. Step out for the reception – You don’t have to spend a bundle on a reception hall – opt for beautiful garden receptions or reception at the beach.  Summer receptions outdoors rock!
  6. Keep the food casual – Who says you have to serve surf and turf – Go with tasty filler foods, sliders appetizers, baked potatoes, fresh salads, shrimp cocktail is a favorite and not too terribly expensive.
  7. DIY – Planning the wedding yourself instead of a planner can significantly bring down cost.
  8.  Focus on what’s important – Focus on the “day” Bonding your union, and not on the things you’ll have around you. Because at the end of the day it’s the love you share that’s important not the temporal things that really don’t matter.  The flowers will die the guests will go home, however you and he will remain.  Thank God for each other and pray over your marriage.  Have fun!

A Holy Sacrament, The two shall become one.

God Bless Lilian and Joseph Meyers my great grandparents whose descendants will celebrate their family reunion today.

Author’s note: May God Bless my family today.  The Family Reunion of  the Meyers & Lashley families today, June 8, 2017.   1 Corinthians 13:8,  “Love never fails!” Enjoy your day everyone!

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4th of July 2017

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Celebrating the 4th of July

How will you spend your 4th of July Holiday?

  • Family Barbecue

  • Fireworks display

  •  Going out-of-town, visiting relatives

  • Take the kids to a parade

  • Going on a date to a barbecue

  • Spend the day at the beach

  • Romantic getaway for the long weekend

  • Concert and fireworks at the park, fun for the whole family

Editor’s Note: Happy Birthday America!  Happy 4th of July to all SCW’s followers and readers.  We love you, we appreciate you.  You Rock!  Enjoy the long holiday weekend.  Be safe in your travels.

 

Verse of the Day:

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Happy 4th of July weekend

Have a safe and Happy Holiday!

Coming up in July

  • Summer Wedding Guide 2017
  • Most popular post Review Can a Christian woman be a cougar?
  • Delicious Summer meals in 30 minutes or less
  • Best Cities for Singles guide 2017
  • Secrets of Happily Married Couples

 

Summer Inspiration & Safety travel tips 2017

  • Summer is a time for fun, food, relaxation, travel, outdoor activities, and vacation.  Being smart means a summer safety checklist that will ensure you keep your family safe.  Following these simple effective tips will take the worry out of your summer adventures.  With the 4th of July holiday coming up millions of people will hit the road.  So whether you’re hosting guests, traveling by car, plane, or train make sure safety is first for a stress free summer travel.
  • Smart safety tip of the day:  Do not announce on Facebook or any other social media platform that you will be on vacation and will not be at home!!!

Verse of the day:

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