Tag Archive | Dating

Summer 2017 Most Popular Post Review “Can a Christian Woman Be a Cougar?”

Cougar Women is a very hot topic!  Meet Samantha Taylor Johnson age 50 director of Fifty Shades Of Grey and her younger husband Aaron Johnson age 27.  When they met she was 43 and he was scandalously 19.  Her story is an interesting one.  They met on the set of  her movie “Nowhere Boy” and were married in 2012.  I can see why she would want to live life on her terms at this point in her life as she has survived an ugly divorce and beat cancer twice!  Aaron came into her life and opened up a new world.  Samantha is living her life to the fullest.

I had no idea my post “Can A Christian Woman be a Cougar” would garner so much attention.  It seems the idea of dating a younger man has crossed the minds of many women.  From celebrities to everyday women, from Christian women to non-Christian women.  Conservative business woman Martha Stewart admitted in a TV interview earlier this year that she herself likes and dates younger men.  She says she likes to go at least 10 years younger normally.

I was surprised but I thought good for her!  Okay ten years, but how young is too young?  Young enough to be your son?  Same age as your son. Would that creep your kids out?  I’ll tell you what is morally incorrect, these women teachers that have been in the news lately for having sex with their students.  That’s a crime against a child.  However, when it comes to grown men and grown women in a cougar woman/ younger man relationship they’re both adults.

The media has coined the term age-gap or age disparity relationships.  Can it last?  Is it just about sex?  The idea behind the post “Can a Christian Woman be a Cougar” was to answer the question, “Is it okay for Christian women to date a younger man?”  When you put it that way it sounds harmless.  She’s just dating a younger man.  However there are a lot of dynamics at play in this type of relationship.  There is much to consider.  Is it morally correct?

As a Christian woman being a woman of values, who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong for someone else.  The Bible does not say anything against a younger man older woman relationship.  I think a woman needs to decides what’s going to work for her and what isn’t.  Only she can decide that.  As a Christian whatever type of relationship you have should not jeopardize your values.

If you’re a cougar woman, dating a younger man and reading this, how’s it working out for  you?  There is so much to say about this and we’re going to explore the topic from many different angles.  I’m also going to present first hand advice from experienced cougar women who live the lifestyle and let you draw your own conclusions.

  • Who are Cougar Women?

  • Typically the Cougar Woman is 40 plus yrs old, established, self-assured women who prefer dating younger men.

  • Typically divorced, widowed or single.  Women in general are living longer.  Which means they are healthy and vibrant and still want to have fun.  Not all men but often men in the same age range can begin to slow down.  A man’s sexual peak is in his 20’s.  A woman’s sexual peak can be as late as 40.  At this stage their kids are out of the house.

  • With the numbers of women in business going up every year they are thriving in their careers, and free to date and see whom they wish.  The fact is women dating and marrying younger men is a growing trend.

  • In 2003, 34 percent of women over 40 had dated younger men.  That number has risen now to 67%.  According to the U.S. Census Bureau 12 percent of marriages are between an older women and younger man.  So you’re not alone in your attraction to younger men.

Famous Cougar Relationships

 

  • Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Demi and Ashton looked so good together and seem to be having fun.  Their relationship burned hot for a while.  She gave every older single woman hope that they can be beautiful sexy and attractive to younger men.  And at the time he seemed really happy too.  Kutcher met Moore when he was 25 and she was 41.  They married two years later in September 2005.

Your twenties are a time when you’re figuring out life.  Think of how much a person changes between 25 to 35, there are a number of potential issues.  At best you’re starting from a disadvantage.  Marriage is hard enough under the best circumstances.  He filed for divorce, she said the relationship was over in 2011 and in 2014 they were officially divorced.  And of course he married a younger woman, Mila Kunis whom he met on “That Seventies Show”.

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon

Mariah and Nick met in 2008.  She was 12 years his senior.  They recently divorced in 2015.

Halle Berry was 10 years older than Canadian model Gabriel Aubrey.  They split in 2011.  They did not marry but had a daughter together.

Sharon Stone

Sharon Stone is 59 years old, single, twice divorced and often photographed with younger men.  She strikes me as the type of woman who would be in control of her relationship with a younger man.

  • Sex

My advice to you is to protect your self emotionally.  With men whether he’s younger or not, unless he’s married, sex is just a physical act.  But for women it’s emotional, which is the reason women usually wind up being hurt when it ends.  So if it’s just about sex your going to get what comes with a “just sexual” relationship.  No commitment, and more than likely hurt feelings.

Sex alone is not enough to sustain any relationship with any man no matter his age.  Can it last?  The reality is some do and some don’t, it’s a risk.  The simple truth is there are no guarantees in life.  Except the lord Jesus Christ who is the same yesterday today and forever more.  He loves and cares for you and doesn’t want to see you hurt by any  man.

Since you are the older wiser one, protect yourself emotionally by having the relationship on your own terms.  Meaning you see him and spend time with him when you want.  You keep control of the relationship!  Set boundaries.

 

  • Married Cougars

There is security in marriage, but again no guarantee, as with any relationship.  The relationships that do go the distance are the rare exception.

  • Single cougars

6 Ways to Protect Yourself Emotionally

  • Have the relationship with the younger man on your own terms. You see him and spend time when you want.

  • Keep control of the relationship by setting boundaries.  For instance you may not introduce him to your children.

  • Don’t have unrealistic expectations.  He’s not going to have lived as much life as you have.

  • Although he’s younger, still let him be the man.  This might as well start with you because he’s dating an older woman.  Let him step up to that level by having him pay for dinner and dates.  So it has to be a young man who is working.  He doesn’t need to be equal to you because being a younger man he wont be.  But you certainly don’t want to be his sugar momma.  So I thought the video above brings up a good point by letting him pay for dinner.

  • Don’t try too hard and don’t chase him. You’re still the prize!

  • Never abandon your standards or settle just because he’s younger.  And never invest in a man of any age simply based on his potential.  He should be of proven character and substance.  Even if you can afford to spoil him, he should still be a quality person.

  • So where do cougars and younger men meet?  Meeting online is not the stigma it once was, and today a third of all Americans meet online.  More importantly, where should you avoid meeting a younger man?  For instance there are reputable sites for serious people looking for long-term committed relationships like Match, E-Harmony,  Christian Mingle, and then there are “Hook-Up” sites, stay away from those.  For instance, the website below isn’t where you want to look.

The woman is naked in her underwear saying come and get it.  Now, a young man who preys on older women is also looking for you to take advantage of you and get money, scam you and God’s knows what else.  So just be selective with the sites you choose.  A site like the one below seems just about sex.  She looks like she’s ready to claw through the screen, grab the young man and eat him whole, Yikes!!

Instead give these types of sites a try that seem to focus more on relationship.

  • Seeking Cougar4u

  • Cougar Cruise

  • Cougar dating App

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Secrets of Happily Married Couples

Smart and Savvy Couples have learned the habits of happily married couples.  Mostly through trial and error.  Some through reading books, attending seminars or observing other happily married couples.  However there are some universal habits that happily married couples seem to practice for longevity. We will explore them in this post.  Remember success in any endeavor especially marriage is intentional, and ongoing thus habits are formed!

10 Habits of a Happy Marriage

 

  • Communication is the key.  Sounds cliché but it’s absolutely essential to a healthy relationship.  Granted some conversations are hard to have, but the more you practice speaking the truth in love the easier it will get, and the better your relationships will be.  Often times you don’t need to make a huge issue out of things, “just have a conversation”, it’s the number one secret of a happy marriage.

  • Intimacy does not necessarily mean sex.  It could be sex.  But true intimacy is time spent without distractions.  It’s an intentional focus on one another.  Intimacy is honest conversations, being transparent, it’s a quiet moment spent without conversations.  Most importantly intimacy transcends the physical.

“Laughter does a heart good like a medicine,” Proverbs 17:22.  My husband and I have so much fun!  We love to laugh.  It keeps you young and a number of studies have confirmed a happy soul leads to better overall health.

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff.  There are big issues and there are little issues.  Your job is to decide what’s important right now and what isn’t.  Save your strength for the big issues.  My husband has a saying “It’s not worth it!”  So ask yourself is this really worth it?  Keep the big picture in mind.

  • Don’t make the mistake of thinking the grass is greener somewhere else.  The grass is green where you water it.  Your marriage is your garden.  You have to water it, feed it, tend to it, give it lots of time and attention so that it will grow to its fullest potential.

  • Know that only God can change another person.  You can be the change that you want to see in your marriage. You do have the power to change yourself while praying for your mate.  In what way can you be a better spouse?

  • Be humble enough to accept help if needed.  Lots of couples have saved their marriage through counseling.  It’s important to remember we are imperfect people.  We don’t always get it right.  We owe it to ourselves and our spouse to do everything we can to the help the marriage.  Forever is a long time.

  • A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over.  Crisis are like storms, to get through them you have to keep driving.  A crisis can sometimes be a new beginning.  It’s out of pain that great people and great marriages are born and survive.

  • Don’t stop dating your spouse.  Some couples say right now we can’t afford to go out.  You can’t afford not to.  If you’re on a budget, date night doesn’t have to expensive.  Just be together as a couple.  Some of my favorite dates when my husband was courting me was the beach.  I loved taking a blanket to the beach and enjoying the evening breeze with a glass of wine!  Or when we walked the Santa Monica pier and got hot dogs and nachos.  Those were my favorite dates.  Even more so than the fancy restaurants in California.  Go for walk, go for a drive, just connect.

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Celebrating the 4th of July

How will you spend your 4th of July Holiday?

  • Family Barbecue

  • Fireworks display

  •  Going out-of-town, visiting relatives

  • Take the kids to a parade

  • Going on a date to a barbecue

  • Spend the day at the beach

  • Romantic getaway for the long weekend

  • Concert and fireworks at the park, fun for the whole family

Editor’s Note: Happy Birthday America!  Happy 4th of July to all SCW’s followers and readers.  We love you, we appreciate you.  You Rock!  Enjoy the long holiday weekend.  Be safe in your travels.

 

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Top Romantic Summer Getaways for Couples 2017

Your amazing Couples getaway awaits!  The season for romantic getaways is here!  Time to arrange childcare and dedicate some uninterrupted time to your relationship!  With the internet flooded with summer deals there’s never been a better time to search and choose the best romantic getaway in your budget.  A couple of sites I’m partial to are Booking .com and Travelocity.  However I say search them all to compare and contrast the best deals.  Save on vacation packages, hotels, and all-inclusive resorts.

Top 5 romantic Summer Destinations For Couples

  • Italy

Immerse yourselves in Italian culture.  From arts and culture to history, mountains, museums, golf, boating, and Italian cuisine, Rome is one of the most romantic cities in the world.  Or take a romantic gondola ride in Venice.  You can’t help but put romance front and center on this adventurous getaway.

  • Paris

The City of Love awaits!  Fully experience this beautiful city on a tour of Paris.  Must see attractions, shows & events, activities and excursions will make you fall in love with Paris and your partner!

  • Waikiki Hawaii

Luxuriate on the soft sandy beaches of Waikiki, or partake in legendary surfing.  And if you can tear yourself away from frolicking on the beach you’ll find lots of tourist attractions from sail boating to the hop on hop off sightseeing tours.  Take advantage of special events happening this time of year such as the “Annual Island Events” which include the Hawaiian Food and Wine festival.  Sample food and wine from all over the world.  Or purchase local goods at the Hawaiian Arts festival.

  • Negril Jamaica

Negril is a beach resort town that offers an array of activities from horseback riding, parasailing, cliff jumping, cave exploring, sea fishing and more against a tropical backdrop.

  • Bora Bora

Famous for its aqua centric luxury resorts.  With plenty of attractions on land, snorkeling, scuba diving, helicopter tours, kite surfing, aqua biking, surrounded by a lagoon, and barrier reef amidst amazing turquoise waters.  Bora Bora is located in the western part of the French Polynesia Islands.

  • Couples Cruise

Romance and cruising seem to go hand in hand.  Couples only, no children.  Traveling to over 150 ports around the world.  Cruises are inclusive packages with food, drinks, and activities, included.  The cruise lines ranked best in reviews online for couples are:  Princess Cruises, Norwegian Cruise, and Royal Caribbean.

  • Reconnect

  • Ladies Don’t Forget:

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Summer Family Vacation Getaway 2017

Planning your  Family vacation summer getaway?  In need of some awesome destinations that will fill your kid’s need for adventure and your desire to relax and explore?  Summer 2017 has it all, and there are plenty of wallet friendly deals online to make sure your family summer vacation is big on adventure.  SCW’s top summer destination picks have a lot of super fun family activities that the whole family can enjoy.

Top Summer getaways for Families 2017

Universal Orlando Resort

Explore Orlando’s three theme parks within one.  There’s Volcano Bay, Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios Florida.  Spectacular on site hotels.  Get your best deals on line as with all vacation travel.  Of course there’s water water everywhere. Take your pick of adventure.

Disneyland California

Find out why this is the happiest place on earth!  The Disneyland resort is divided into two separate theme parks.  Downtown Disney boasts  three hotels and a shopping and entertainment district as well as nightlife for the adults.  The first park is the original Disney Theme Park and the second is the California Adventure Park.  I’ve been to both with my kids and it’s a blast. This year Disney’s newest attraction is the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Atlantis Bahamas

Atlantis Indoor Aquarium

A world underwater.  Discover Atlantis Paradise Island one of the top vacation resorts for families in the Bahamas.  Water parks, fine dining, casinos, and shopping make for an awesome family summer getaway.

Sea World Orlando

Come face to face with marine life and experience the park’s rides, roller coasters, shows and tours.  They have awesome vacation packages for family.  Buy tickets online and save.

Myrtle Beach South Carolina 

Myrtle Beach is a coastal City in the southern region of the east Coast in South Carolina.  A family friendly beach with surrounding tourist shops and restaurants featuring delicious southern cuisine.

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Summer Date Night Ideas 2017

Looking for the perfect way to spend time with  a special someone this summer?  It’s really about  the company not about what you do.  Sometimes the simple things are best and the most fun.  With plenty of sunshine, longer days and warmer temps lend itself to outdoor activities and more sociability.  Make the most of summer by getting out and having fun!

7 Fun inexpensive Summer Date Night Ideas!

Wine tasting double date night

A walk on the beach

Amusement Park

Picnic in the park

Go for a Swim! It’s summer!

Take a stroll to a neighborhood restaurant that has outdoor seating

Find a spot to watch the sunset

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Single Women: Show Him How to Treat You

As a woman of God self-respect permeates every area of your life. It has less to do with what you say and more to do with how you carry yourself, your actions and what you will and will not accept.  A woman who values herself is the ultimate catch!  Ground rules of a relationship need to be set in the beginning. What you tolerate in the dating phase or not sets the tone for the relationship.  Some women are puzzled by the notion that you can “show ” a man how to treat you.  How do you do that? By not accepting, unacceptable behaviors.

Men classify women.  For example: “This girl I can call anytime and she’ll come running”, or “This is the party girl”, or “this girl is not putting out until marriage”.  Women are scared to set boundaries for fear they will lose out on the man. If you do lose him, Good!! He didn’t deserve you anyway.  Because a man who wants you, you won’t be able to lose him because he’s not going anywhere.  A real man will see that you have standards and that will be both a comfort and challenge to him because he knows he has a high value woman on his hands!

6 Ways to Show Him how to Treat You

Your heart is worth guarding.  Protect yourself emotionally by having standards.  You want a man who will honor and value you as a woman and respect your decision not sleep with him before marriage.  Sleeping with him before commitment is not going to make him stay and it makes you no different from any other woman.  You must show him your difference!  It’s your difference that makes you unique not your sameness!

Your time is valuable.  Do not be available on a whim.  Demonstrate to him that you are a woman with your own life that runs on a schedule, i.e. work, school, and plans and time with you needs to be made in advance.

Your worth being properly courted.  If he’s the kind of guy that wants to put in as little effort as possible to see you, For instance Netflix and chill in which case there should be several dates before you let a man take you to his home.  It’s not your job to make it convenient for the man to date you.  It’s his job to make the effort!  Because the woman is the prize to be won!You should not be going to pick him up. The man assumes the responsibility when taking a woman out. When my husband and I met, he had to drive an hour to see me.  Was it convenient?  Probably not!   There were thousands of women where he lived if not millions, But a Man will do whatever it takes to get what he wants!!

Never choose a man based on his potential.  A man should be working when he approaches you.  In the garden Adam’s work was defined before God brought the woman to him.  Genesis 2:15: “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.”  If a man cannot define his work he has no business approaching you for a date. 

You commit, after he commits to you.  Are you the type of woman who is already committed before a commitment is made?  If he has not committed to you 100% yet then neither should you!  Then and only then, otherwise keep your options open!  Don’t be the type of woman that “needs” a man be the type of woman a man needs!

Be Willing to walk away.  This works in business  as well as relationships.  The Art of the deal is always be willing to walk away.  Willing to walk away from a situation that isn’t working.  Women make the mistake of holding on too long sometimes when clearly the man is not for you.  Let me give you a little psychology tip: the person who cares “less” about the relationship has the most power!  This should be you!  As the woman you are the prize, you are doing the “Choosing”.  And if you don’t find a pearl in  that oyster, open another oyster!  Simply put, one monkey doesn’t stop a show.  Keep it moving.  NOT giving in to a man’s desires puts you in the position of power.  When you do not consent to sex it puts you in the position of decision maker.  You want a man who values you as a woman, but you have to believe that you deserve it!

 

Author’s Note:  Welcome Summer SCW fans!  SCW Magazine will launch its Special Summer Edition 2017 Thursday June 1st.  The Summer edition will run for the month of June!

Coming up in June:

  • Getting Fit for summer 2017

  • Stylish Summer 2017

  • Summer date Night ideas 2017

  • Summer family Getaway 2017

  • Couples Summer getaway 2017

  • Father’s day celebration 2017

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