Fall officially begins today September 22nd, 2017! If you’ve been following me for a while you know that this is my favorite time of year. With California having a year-round climate of warmth, it’s nice to have a slight change in the weather. The days are still sunny but the nights are cool. The resurgence of fresh cool air feels great! There’s so much to love about the Fall season from the deciduous trees and their beautiful colors, to the activities, to the holidays, I love it all! Not to mention the start of a new season!
A new season gives hope, and a sense of expectancy of what God is going to do next in our lives. Hopefully you are enjoying your Fall season where you are. Out with the old and enter the new! Time to take inventory! What’s working and what’s not? If it’s not working let it go! Cut off the dead weight so that you can soar! Matthew 7:19,“Every tree that does not bear fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire!” So Arise! Daughter of God because it’s your new season! To God be the Glory forever!
Verse of the day:
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Author’s Note: Well Folks we just celebrated the unofficial end of summer on Labor Day. Now we move forward to our new season! Fall begins Friday September 22nd 2017. This is my favorite time of year, fall and winter. California is beautiful! But I miss the changing of the seasons. However I do love that I can get the best of both worlds here by going up to the higher elevations of California and getting snow during the winter months and experiencing year round resorts with the season changes.
There’s something about entering a new season that gives you hope, joy, and the anticipation of the good things that God will do next. This is your season for a closer walk with God. It is your season for healing. It is your season for experiencing good health. It is your season of new blessings! Leave a comment and tell us how your being blessed in this season!
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Whatever you choose enjoy the fruits of your labor and have a blessed Labor Day and be safe!! To all of my followers and readers Thanks for reading SCW. It’s going to be a lazy day at our house today with my husband off work. We’re just going to have good food, and lots of relaxation. We’ve been celebrating all weekend my husband’s birthday is Labor Day. So we had a couple of celebrations to accommodate the kids work schedules. But they were all here last night, it was fun we filled up on a roast beef dinner, cake and ice cream .
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We are a three-part being.1 Thessalonians 5:23,“And the very God of peace sanctify you completely and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” We are spirit, we live in a body, and we have a soul, which is made up of our mind, our will, and our emotions. We are a spirit just as God is a spirit. God is the Master Spirit. The Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit. The “natural man” (unsaved), is governed only by his soul and bodily appetites because he is spiritually dead. (1 Cor 2:14) If you are saved today, you are a new creature in Christ Jesus.
However we still have some work to do. We as born again Christians, have been made spiritually alive and we are supposed to be governed and controlled by the Holy Spirit and our own born again Spirit, the Bible calls it “the new regenerated self”. So we have “put off our old ways”. Old ways of thinking, old ways of doing and being. While our spirits are saved, our minds are still being renewed. This means we must deal with our thought life and emotions. Part of the battle is the battlefield of the mind!
The enemy comes against our minds. We must be careful what we put before our eyes and what we allow into our minds and emotions. That’s why we are told to “take every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” Our soul includes our emotions which are unreliable! We can’t trust it nor can we let our emotions be the final authority over us. Our minds have to constantly be renewed. Make up in your mind that you will ask God to renew your mind daily. To be renewed means to have a fresh mental attitude. Cast down every high thing that exalts itself against God.
God’s Word must be the final authority!! Is it easy? No! It’s the toughest fight of your life, but God didn’t promise it would be. He said He’ll be with us!!!! The scariest thing for me was being out of the will of God. I don’t want to ever be out of the will of God! I’ve been there and trust me, “being covered” by God is much better. I love this scripture, Matthew 10:28,“And fear not them which can kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul, but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in Hell!”
Do you know what He’s saying? He’s saying instead of being worried about “people” living to please them, what you better be worried about is ME! (The Lord God Almighty). Guard yourselves with all diligence, take care of your body, mind, and spirit. Feed your spirit the Word of God. Read to build up your mind! Exercise to build your body and eat nutritious meals to stay healthy.
Healthy Habits for mind Body and Spirit
Eat real Food – Processed foods are a major contributor to obesity and illnesses. Real foods and a healthy balanced diet are keys s to good health!
Move your Body – You don’t have to have a gym membership. Start right where you are, get moving by walking, biking, going up and down stairs, swimming, exercising at home, the point is to use or lose it!
Prioritize your sleep – When we are low on sleep it affects our metabolism, makes us irritable, low on energy, unable to think clearly. A good night sleep regenerates us!
Learning something new – Expands our mind and thought processes and keeps us moving forward in life. When the mind has been expanded it cannot go back.
Avoid the negative – Negative people, places, TV shows, thoughts, concerns.
Focus on the Good and Positive – The Bible says whatsoever is true and of good report think on these things.
Let yourself have fun – Laughter keeps us young!
Retreat to calm the mind and the body.
Show love to God, yourself and others – You show love Love to God by reading his Word, obeying, his Word, aligning your life up with his Word. Show love to yourself by taking care of yourself, show love to others by showing them you care.
Reach out and help someone else. We help heal ourselves by reaching out to others.
Pray without ceasing
Verse of the day:
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What is Intimacy? Intimacy generally refers to the feeling of being in a close personal association or belonging together. It is a familiar and very close affective connection with another as a result of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity. Immediately when people hear the word intimate they think of sex. However, we are going to elevate our minds and discuss a higher level of Intimacy.
Intimacy can be achieved and maintained in a relationship “without” sex! The highest level of intimacy is connecting with another mentally and spiritually without sex. Problem is most people never get that far to experience it because they ruined it by jumping in the bed too soon! I have discussed in earlier post that my husband and I “waited ” before we got married. It was the best thing!Being in the will of God is always best. I was at a place in my life where I really wanted to things right! As a strong Christian man being the leader that my husband is,he said early on in the relationship ‘ look, this is what we’re going to do” . That’s ultimately how I knew he was the one! because he was willing to wait for me. He showed me he was different from the other guys.
He said that I was different from any other woman he had met. My husband said I’m not looking to “rent” I’m looking to buy! Can I get AMEN! An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional and or physical intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by platonic love, friendship, romantic love, or sexual activity. Emotional intimacy develops after a certain level of trust has been reached, and personal bonds established. Intimate conversations become the basis for “confidences” (secret knowledge), that bind people together.
But first we must start at the beginning, “To thou own self be true”. You must have an intimate relationship with God. You must know who you are. You must know who’s you are. Choose thee this day whom you serve. You cannot serve two masters. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added. Do the hard work on yourself to be ready to receive what God has for you. Pray “Search me oh God and know my heart”Psalms 149:23. That means search my soul, fix what needs fixing, correct in me what needs correcting. So relationship with God, good relationship with self, and then a good relationship with another. You’ve got to be different than the other girls, it’s your “difference” that makes you special, makes you a “Wife”.
But in order to get the good Christian man God has for you, you’ve got to get rid of the old. God won’t put new wine in old wine skins. He is doing a new thing but you won’t be able to recognize the new thing if you’re stuck. Stuck in that old mentality that old way of thinking. To get what you’ve never had you have to do something you’ve never done. I had such a big problem with establishing intimacy before God touched my life. I had a problem with trusting people so as a result I didn’t let anyone in. I had to learn what it takes to achieve true intimacy and I did. Keep in mind it can only be achieved with a like minded individual and since this is next level thinking it’s going to take a special person, but it’s worth it.
So when people can walk away from you, “Let Them Walk!” Don’t try to talk another into staying with you, loving you, “Let them Walk”. Because destiny is never tied to anyone who has left! The right person will stay. I want you to always remember that and this is not relegated to “just relationships”. You don’t need everyone liking you just the right person! Proverbs 21:1“The king’s heart is in the hands of the Lord and as the rivers of water He turneth whatsoever He will.”
5 Ways to Build and Maintain Intimacy
“As a man thinketh so is he”Proverbs 3:27. You must be, believe, think, and carry yourself as a high value woman. Challenge yourself, challenge him!!! Commit to never again, sleep with a man again unless and until he marries you. Living in the times we do this idea is not popular. The media is saturated with sex and debauchery and it’s only going to get worse. The world will get crazier and crazier the Bible says so. But you as a Christian woman must hold fast to your faith. God blesses good decisions!!! Could it be that you should stop giving all the wrong men time and attention, and clear the way for the right man that God has for you. The law of attraction says whatever you’re seeking is seeking you. That good Christian man is looking for you too. He’s looking for a good Christian woman to make her his wife. The Bible says “He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing!” ( Amen). That means she’s wife material when he finds her. This man will respect that you have standards! You will challenge him and cause him to step up to the plate. If there is no challenge there will be no interest!!! Or short term interest at best. Boy meets girl, girl sleeps with boy, GAME OVER. Men like challenge!! They actually thrive on it!! And it builds him and makes him more of a man. Look at their recreational activities: Sports, video games, computers. Those things provide challenge, they love games. There’s no challenge in you handing over the goods. When you say NO it’s game on now. Make him work for it. This is what tells him you’re the one.
Concentrate on getting to know this person – the goal when you meet someone new is to try and get to know them as best you can. And try to decide is this someone you would like to spend time with further? When we meet someone new we start a connection! Keep that going! Let the relationship grow or not grow out of connection. When you have sex you break the connection. He’s ready to go on to the next conquest. You must break that cycle or you’re doomed to repeat it.
Don’t be too needy – Men have a nose for that kind of thing. A woman who’s doing her own thing and has her own life is very attractive to a man. I heard a handsome celebrity man say in an interview that he saw two attractive women in the airport. The first one he said, “she was trying too hard”. Maybe she was winking at him, smiling too hard, I don’t know but he wasn’t feeling it even though he thought she was pretty. The second one he said was the one who drew him in because she wasn’t even looking at him, she was doing her own thing. He was checking her out. Play it cool and let him come to you!! Let HIM be the man in every aspect, let him make the advances, let him pick you up, let him pay for dates .
Stop letting men move in with you – I learned from a pastor to Never commit to, or marry a man based on his potential. For example: “one day he’s going to be a great business man”. A man doesn’t have to be a rich man to be a good man that’s not what I’m saying. As a man he should be stable! Stable meaning, he should be working, have his own place and car. Until a man establishes himself first he is unable to give of himself to a woman. He has to establish who he is and what he does. Living together a man gets all the benefits of marriage and none of the responsibility!! That’s not a smart move for the woman.
Build Intimacy through: Honesty, transparency, communication, conversation, closeness, establishing a friendship. You build true intimacy by not having sex. Instead building a connection that will last a lifetime. Stop robbing your tomorrow for short term gratification, which is essentially lust not love, there’s a big difference. That’s what I want for every Christian woman out there, to experience true love. Someone who accepts you for who you are and loves you anyway.
Develop Intimacy – By getting to know him without sex. If he can’t accept that, he’s not the one! Show him your difference. It won’t take very long for people to show you who they really are. You decide whether it’s worth going any further or if it’s not a good fit and move on with your dignity intact. A man is never going to bond with you emotionally through having sex with him. For him sex is just physical, until a woman captures him emotionally or until he puts a ring on it. There are women who’ve been in long term relationships for years but he hasn’t proposed because you allow him to be comfortable as things are. A man is only going to do what you let him get away with.
Build Intimacy – Establishing trust and closeness without sex. Nurture the connection. Most importantly, wait! wait! before you just give yourself away to a man. Waiting is a war tactic. Whoever can hold out the longest wins! Ladies certainly know how to hold out, you just have to do it at the right time! Which is in the beginning when you meet him. Set your boundaries, show him your standards, there’s no game playing. Be upfront, don’t lead him on. When you make your stand up front people will either fall in line or fall out. And praise God when they leave, they did you favor, you don’t want him. And that puts you a little closer to getting the man God has for you. You don’t have to waste time with mediocrity. Sexually undisciplined men are babies. You need a man.
Maintain intimacy – When God answers your prayers for marriage and gives you what you dreamed of, it’s not over! It’s just beginning, and now you have to maintain what he gave you. Vow to always be honest with one another.
Featured Married Couple: Actress Meagan Goode and husband. Universal Studio executive, and pastor Devon Franklin. They are our featured couple of the month because they have lived it and experienced true intimacy by NOT having sex before marriage. They’re both Christians and were just both at a place in their lives where they did not want to have sex again until they were married. Now they have a healthy happy relationship that God has blessed and formed a lasting bond. I’m so happy for them! I like that they’ve been so open about waiting for sex and their journey. It shows other women what God can do if you will do it his way! They also wrote a book called, “The Wait”. I was very inspired by their decision to write the book. Though I have not yet read it, I plan to but it has inspired me to write another book with my husband as well. So we have that to look forward to! Good luck Meagan and Devon to God be the glory!
Verse of the day:
Author’s Note:
Hope you guys are having an awesome summer! I am too! Getting a lot done. It’s possible to be blessed and still have challenges. Take heart that God is strengthening us in those difficult times, and we must press on! To God be the Glory Forever! You have a friend in California!
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Cougar Women is a very hot topic! Meet Samantha Taylor Johnson age 50 director of Fifty Shades Of Grey and her younger husband Aaron Johnson age 27. When they met she was 43 and he was scandalously 19. Her story is an interesting one. They met on the set of her movie “Nowhere Boy” and were married in 2012. I can see why she would want to live life on her terms at this point in her life as she has survived an ugly divorce and beat cancer twice! Aaron came into her life and opened up a new world. Samantha is living her life to the fullest.
I had no idea my post “Can A Christian Woman be a Cougar” , (click this link to view), would garner so much attention. It seems the idea of dating a younger man has crossed the minds of many women. From celebrities to everyday women, from Christian women to non-Christian women. Conservative business woman Martha Stewart admitted in a TV interview earlier this year that she herself likes and dates younger men. She says she likes to go at least 10 years younger normally.
I was surprised but I thought good for her! Okay ten years, but how young is too young? Young enough to be your son? Same age as your son. Would that creep your kids out? I’ll tell you what is morally incorrect, these women teachers that have been in the news lately for having sex with their students. That’s a crime against a child. However, when it comes to grown men and grown women in a cougar woman/ younger man relationship they’re both adults.
The media has coined the term age-gap or age disparity relationships. Can it last? Is it just about sex? The idea behind the post “Can a Christian Woman be a Cougar” was to answer the question, “Is it okay for Christian women to date a younger man?” When you put it that way it sounds harmless. She’s just dating a younger man. However there are a lot of dynamics at play in this type of relationship. There is much to consider. Is it morally correct?
As a Christian woman being a woman of values, who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong for someone else. The Bible does not say anything against a younger man older woman relationship. I think a woman needs to decides what’s going to work for her and what isn’t. Only she can decide that. As a Christian whatever type of relationship you have should not jeopardize your values.
If you’re a cougar woman, dating a younger man and reading this, how’s it working out for you? There is so much to say about this and we’re going to explore the topic from many different angles. I’m also going to present first hand advice from experienced cougar women who live the lifestyle and let you draw your own conclusions.
Who are Cougar Women?
Typically the Cougar Woman is 40 plus yrs old, established, self-assured women who prefer dating younger men.
Typically divorced, widowed or single. Women in general are living longer. Which means they are healthy and vibrant and still want to have fun. Not all men but often men in the same age range can begin to slow down. A man’s sexual peak is in his 20’s. A woman’s sexual peak can be as late as 40. At this stage their kids are out of the house.
With the numbers of women in business going up every year they are thriving in their careers, and free to date and see whom they wish. The fact is women dating and marrying younger men is a growing trend.
In 2003, 34 percent of women over 40 had dated younger men. That number has risen now to 67%. According to the U.S. Census Bureau 12 percent of marriages are between an older women and younger man. So you’re not alone in your attraction to younger men.
Famous Cougar Relationships
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
Demi and Ashton looked so good together and seem to be having fun. Their relationship burned hot for a while. She gave every older single woman hope that they can be beautiful sexy and attractive to younger men. And at the time he seemed really happy too. Kutcher met Moore when he was 25 and she was 41. They married two years later in September 2005.
Your twenties are a time when you’re figuring out life. Think of how much a person changes between 25 to 35, there are a number of potential issues. At best you’re starting from a disadvantage. Marriage is hard enough under the best circumstances. He filed for divorce, she said the relationship was over in 2011 and in 2014 they were officially divorced. And of course he married a younger woman, Mila Kunis whom he met on “That Seventies Show”.
Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon
Mariah and Nick met in 2008. She was 12 years his senior. They recently divorced in 2015.
Halle Berry was 10 years older than Canadian model Gabriel Aubrey. They split in 2011. They did not marry but had a daughter together.
Sharon Stone
Sharon Stone is 59 years old, single, twice divorced and often photographed with younger men. She strikes me as the type of woman who would be in control of her relationship with a younger man.
Sex
My advice to you is to protect your self emotionally. With men whether he’s younger or not, unless he’s married, sex is just a physical act. But for women it’s emotional, which is the reason women usually wind up being hurt when it ends. So if it’s just about sex your going to get what comes with a “just sexual” relationship. No commitment, and more than likely hurt feelings.
Sex alone is not enough to sustain any relationship with any man no matter his age. Can it last? The reality is some do and some don’t, it’s a risk. The simple truth is there are no guarantees in life. Except the lord Jesus Christ who is the same yesterday today and forever more. He loves and cares for you and doesn’t want to see you hurt by any man.
Since you are the older wiser one, protect yourself emotionally by having the relationship on your own terms. Meaning you see him and spend time with him when you want. You keep control of the relationship! Set boundaries.
Married Cougars
There is security in marriage, but again no guarantee, as with any relationship. The relationships that do go the distance are the rare exception.
Single cougars
6 Ways to Protect Yourself Emotionally
Have the relationship with the younger man on your own terms. You see him and spend time when you want.
Keep control of the relationship by setting boundaries. For instance you may not introduce him to your children.
Don’t have unrealistic expectations. He’s not going to have lived as much life as you have.
Although he’s younger, still let him be the man. This might as well start with you because he’s dating an older woman. Let him step up to that level by having him pay for dinner and dates. So it has to be a young man who is working. He doesn’t need to be equal to you because being a younger man he wont be. But you certainly don’t want to be his sugar momma. So I thought the video above brings up a good point by letting him pay for dinner.
Don’t try too hard and don’t chase him. You’re still the prize!
Never abandon your standards or settle just because he’s younger. And never invest in a man of any age simply based on his potential. He should be of proven character and substance. Even if you can afford to spoil him, he should still be a quality person.
So where do cougars and younger men meet? Meeting online is not the stigma it once was, and today a third of all Americans meet online. More importantly, where should you avoid meeting a younger man? For instance there are reputable sites for serious people looking for long-term committed relationships like Match, E-Harmony, Christian Mingle, and then there are “Hook-Up” sites, stay away from those. For instance, the website below isn’t where you want to look.
The woman is naked in her underwear saying come and get it. Now, a young man who preys on older women is also looking for you to take advantage of you and get money, scam you and God’s knows what else. So just be selective with the sites you choose. A site like the one below seems just about sex. She looks like she’s ready to claw through the screen, grab the young man and eat him whole, Yikes!!
Instead give these types of sites a try that seem to focus more on relationship.
Seeking Cougar4u
Cougar Cruise
Cougar dating App
Verse of the day:
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It’s Summer in the kitchen! Time to use the oven less and prepare lighter, healthier, tasty summer dishes. It’s the time of year to prepare meals in the crock pot, wok, and stove top. Temperatures outside are warm and who wants to slave over a hot oven for hours. So whether you are vegan or a meat lover, you’re sure to find something on SCW’s list of delicious summer meals that you and your family will love and have dinner on the table in 30 minutes or less!
10 Delicious Summer Meals
Meals Prepared in a Wok
Beef and broccoli stir fry – Delicious and tasty you can use either rice or noodles
Chicken stir fry
Vegetable stir fry
Spaghetti
Italian Pasta Salad
Chicken Caesar salad w/Parmesan cheese
Wedge Salad
Baked Talapia or a light pan fried coating
Pan fried lamb chops- olive oil, coat and brown on each side
Grilled barbecue chicken
Keep plenty of fresh fruit around wherever possible
Delicious Summer drink
Coconut Penna desert drink
Verse of the day:
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