Tag Archive | married life

Waiting for Sex ΙΙ & Welcome Spring

Welcome Spring!  If it has not yet warmed up where you are, be of good cheer, soon the cold days and cold nights will give way to warmer days and the newness of Life!  God is doing a new thing!  Now it shall spring forth!  So be hopeful and hold onto God’s unchanging hand!

Verse of the day:

Follow up to “The Benefits to Women saving sex for Marriage”

If you missed February’s previous post, “The benefits of waiting for sex until Marriage for Women”, go back or click here and take a look as this is a follow up to that post.

Statistics: 56% of women report having sex on the the first date.  In the previous posts we discussed the benefits to women when they wait, among them are…………, To preserve your heart, your body, and your mind while keeping your spirituality intact and honoring God.  It’s absolutely the best way to go for women.  However, there is a cost to everything and keeping it 100% real, it’s a process.

Just like anything that’s worth having and SCW would be remiss if we didn’t explore the downsides of waiting as well as the process of meeting a new man and exactly how to establish those boundaries. Because what the woman is really doing in this scenario is she is maintaining control over the relationship.

Doesn’t that sound good? Wouldn’t you like to be the one in control for a change instead of giving it away, losing control and having no leverage.  Because it’s not just, “oh you slept with him”, no, you gave away your control, and now you’ll just have to wait and see how things turnout, the devil is a liar!

You are the woman, it ends and begins with you, you have control, a man can’t do what you won’t let him do.  You tell him no it’s no.  He has two options, respect you for valuing yourself over him, see you as wife material and get to know you better or step off!

In which case he was just sport fishing anyway. Let him go make somebody else’s life miserable.  In sport fishing men will catch a fish, take a picture to commemorate the moment and throw it back in the water, he’s done.  It’s not important to him to keep the fish.  The joy to him was catching it!  As an SCW woman you are a keeper!

Smart Tip of the Day:  A woman, per God’s design has a strong desire in her to fit.  She wants to fit in somewhere, preferably with the right man. Genesis 2:21 “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof” King James Version.  The problem is because of this God given nature she’ll try to fit where she doesn’t belong!  So the protection from God for his daughters is to have you be married!

Downside of Waiting

  • You’re going to have to wait too.  Yes, shocker!  Women enjoy and want sex too.  Just as you’re making him wait you’ll be waiting as well but in the end it will be worth it.  In the meantime we have to exercise what’s called self control.
  • Time. A man is able to reproduce well into his eighties!  That’s why a lot of men are in no hurry to get married, they know they have virtually their whole lives.  Not so with women.  Women have a time clock, a window of opportunity if you will.  So women have to play the cards they’ve been dealt.  Meaning you have to live life according to your situation.  So for instance if you have your eye on a certain guy you can’t sit around waiting for him.  You have to do what’s best for your life. Trust God’s timing!                ΙΙ

Choosing The right Mate

Ask yourself what is most important to me in a relationship and make a list.  Do it now. Think about what qualities work for you.  Every woman’s list will be different, however as a guide SCW has listed the top 5 non negotiables.

  1. Be equally yoked! Only date Christian men. You must be on the same page from the start.
  2. Productive and stable! Meaning he is working, has a career, his own place, (not living with mom) own a car.  An exception to this is if he is finishing up in school, completing a master’s degree for instance, but everything else in is intact.  You don’t want to meet a man that is “going to do such and such” you want to meet one that “IS” doing it!  Bottom line he is his own man!
  3. Compatible goals for family and children.  What are his ideas as far as family and children are concerned?  Do they match up with yours?
  4. Compatible goals for Lifestyle?  Does one of you like to spend money like a drunken sailor giving no thought to the future, and the other is conservative?  Or does one of you want a house with a white picket fence in the country and the other wants a high rise condo in the city?
    This is important because these are the types of issues that can cause disharmony and division in a marriage.  However through communication they can also be worked out!  Marriage is hard under the best circumstances even with the God given mate God has blessed you with.  So don’t make it harder on yourself then it has to be.  Talk it out.
  5. How Does he treat you? How do you feel when you are with him?  3 Key traits consistency, reliability and chemistry.

How do I establish a new relationship with a new man and communicate to him that I’m waiting?  Be reasonable, what you don’t want to do is tell him on your first date that your body clock is ticking and you want to get married ASAP, even if it’s true.  It’s just not good timing.  You want to be smart.

  • First reset your mind.  Next make a vow to yourself that from here forward every new man is in a probationary period in your life in order for you to find out if he is husband material.  Essentially you want to see if he is what you want.  You’ve got the schedule to keep!  You’re choosing him! This type of thinking may take a little getting use to and that’s okay.  You’ll get through this and come out better and more confident.   You’ve heard of Steve Harvey’s 90 day rule for dating.  Give this new guy 3 months to show you what he’s about.  It will all come out don’t worry and it might not even take long.  During this time you are observing how he treats you, his personality, etc…  Now very important, this seems obvious but I don’t want to leave any stone unturned.  Don’t tell him he’s in probation, you just maintain control.  Second important thing do not sleep with him during this, if you do, you lose control of the relationship and give away your power.  Do not sleep with him until he puts a ring on your finger and you get married.  That’s the deal and its non negotiable, take it or leave it.  Trust me he’ll be enjoying the chase. The man God has for you will meet those standards, he’ll wait.  But you have to know that you are worth it.  You are the prize to be sought after.


  • Never think that you can change a man!  First, only God can change people.  You don’t want a fixer upper, you want a house that’s turn key ready.


  • Don’t ignore red flags.  Sometimes in wanting things to work out, women can ignore red flags. That’s a mistake it will only comeback to haunt you.  When people let you know who they are believe them.  Your only job is to observe and along the way you’re finding out what you want and what you don’t.

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Your Latter Days Shall be better than your Former Days

Verse of the day:

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Valentine’s Day, Celebration of Love

GOD Is Love, and we love because he first loved us, 1 John 4:19.  First love God, then love yourself, and then allow God to bring the right love into your life if he hasn’t already.  For single women, could it be that God is still working on YOU to get you ready to receive the love he has for you?

Often times God has to prepare us for his blessings. God had to do a lot of work on me to prepare me to receive a Husband.  I was fiercely independent as a single lady and it was difficult for me to open up to a man and allow myself to be vulnerable and experience true intimacy.

I had trust issues.  I had lost my mother and was very much walled up emotionally, on and on.  I’m here to tell you that all things are possible With God!!  But you really have to strip yourself down and humble yourself and be honest with God and be serious about your relationship with him.

He can read your heart! He knows when you’re serious and when your not.  If you’re one of those Sunday morning Christians trying to stay in the shallow end your wasting time!!!  You have to come out into the deep!!!!  And get ready for a haul.

It starts with your relationship with him, work on that first and he will give you the desires of your heart! The bible is clear “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added onto you!”

If God has blessed you with a spouse Cherish them, love them, and don’t make the mistake of taking anything for granted.  We need to honor God’s blessings, because the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.  However, one thing is clear his love for us, and as a Loving father he wants the best for us.  He is the creator of LOVE!

Tip of the day:  Single Ladies.  You are daughters of the King!  You are a child of the most high God!  You deserve the best and do not settle for less!  It’s not lowering your standards to come down to his level it’s about bringing him up to yours.
But it’s not your job to change a man and don’t try because the man God has for you will come equipped! He will not be a fixer upper!  Do you not know what the bible says about you?  It says nothing that a man has, nothing that he can acquire can compare to YOU!
And I want you to think of yourselves from this day forward as that pearl of great price!  Proverbs 8:11 “For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire compares with her.”

Tip of the day: Married Ladies.  To achieve a higher level of intimacy when spending time with your husband, do the unthinkable and experiment by both of you turning off your phones!  Not silence or vibrate, OFF!  This signifies that this is time set aside for us to connect as a married couple and we will be totally in the moment with no distractions!  Just for this moment keep conversation to only about the two of you.  No everyday stress talk, bills, kids, problems,etc….. concentrate solely on the two of you for that moment.  Even if you are tempted to talk about other things.. RESIST just for this moment.  Married Couples really do need to have some time that is all their own!!!!! Practice it over and over!

Sorry guys the busy week kind of got away from me but as promised you can click here for your Valentines Day ideas whether your doing frugal, or fancy you’ll be sure to have fun!

Click the link here for SCW’s Valentines Day Ideas!

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”1 Corinthians 13:4-8


“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”Romans 12:9-10

  • “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”Ephesians 4:2-3
  • “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”Proverbs 31:10-12
  • “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”Colossians 3:18-19


  • “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”1 John 4:7

What is your Love Language?  Do you know the love language of your sweetheart?  people have a specific love language that appeals to them most effectively. Some people have more than one. Knowing the love language of your sweetheart can help you to communicate more effectively with them.

Happy Valentines Day to my Handsome Husband.  I found the one my heart Loves, Song of Solomon 3:4

Verse of the day:

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God always makes a way for those that Love Him

Verse of the day:

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Abundance, Increase and Overflow

Ye shall eat the good of the land!  Abundance, increase, and overflow are coming to those that love him!  Numbers 14:8 “If the LORD is pleased with us, then he will bring us into this land and give it to us, a land that flows with milk and honey.”  Exactly where is the land that flows with milk and honey?  It is a very real place.  It is found in Christ!  It is found in your relationship with him!  After the LORD prunes you and refines you he then leads you into a place of abundance, increase and overflow. The Bible describes it as a “good and spacious land, where the ground is fertile and ye shall bear much fruit.”

Verse of the day:

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May Hope and Courage Abound

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New Year, A Better You

Strengthen and maintain your prayer life in this new season!  It’s the only thing that keeps us as believers grounded, centered, and focused on our relationship with God.  Bring Him all your issues, and worries and let him grant peace.  What will you do different in this season?  How will you make the best of what God has given you?  What changes for the better would you like to make?  1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your cares and anxieties on him for he cares for you.”  Below are 4 scriptures to carry in your heart as you face another new year.


Philippians 4:6-7   

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Joshua 1:9 

Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Be good to your Body!  It is the temple of God!  Strengthen your spirit with God’s word, feed your body a balanced healthy diet to live your healthiest fullest potential.  Health is wealth, without it, it’s impossible to have the best quality of life. I used to love a big juicy cheeseburger like everyone else, still do.  However, I don’t eat fast food anymore.  I cut it from my diet because I didn’t feel good after eating it.  I stay away from unnatural foods in favor of fresh salads, fruits and vegetables with fish and chicken and lean meats.  No soda, and low sugar and salt and lots of water.

As my diet got better I felt better and felt in control of my weight.  Be your healthiest!  Look and feel your best!  Create an exercise plan that’s doable and start slow.  I’ve been working out consistently for the past three years just half hour a day.  Sometimes I do the bike, or I do the elliptical or both.  When it’s warm I like to swim.  I’m also very active throughout the day walking as much as I can when I’m not in the car.


Well guys I’m in full vacation mode now and this is the scene, a Cozy Cabin, 8,000 ft elevation surrounded by the scenic beauty of the mountains with my husband.  It doesn’t get any better than this! A reminder to enjoy each day with loved ones as they are blessings from God!

Verse of the day:

“January Birthday Announcements”, A special Happy Birthday to author and founder of SCW January 13th, and to my Beloved Grandfather Thomas Newman January 6th.

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