Day 19, Principle #19
The act of marriage is what sets our marital relationship apart from other relationships. The topic of physical intimacy is vitally important for a thriving marriage. God designed sex solely for marriage. Therefore it’s safe to say we married our men so that we can have sex with them. Sure there were other reasons why you married your guy. But ultimately the obvious reason we got married because we wanted to connect with our guy physically in an intimate way. Most marriages start off with a thriving intimate life. But over time either our men stop romancing us, women loose interest in sex after kids, or simply stop having sex with their husband. For whatever reason our schedules become too demanding, or our hearts become hardened against our man.
1 Corinthians 7:5, says “Do not deprive your husband”, (go look it up), it’s actually a commandment.. well actually it says, “Do not deprive each other of sex”, but yes it actually says that. It’s the gift of your God given sexuality. When any of these things take place in our marriage then the marriage is under attack by the enemy. The lord in his infinite wisdom gives us some instructions for thriving intimate relationship. 1 Corinthians 7:4, “the wife has no authority over her own body but yields it to her husband, In the same way the husband does not have authority over his body but yields it to his wife.” Do you let your husband delight in you? Is he enraptured by your love or do you tend to shy away from his advances or discount what he says about your physical beauty? Perhaps you don’t feel confident about your appearance. I think all women have had these thoughts at one time or another.
Stop looking to media and television to tell you what’s beautiful. I have said this before, it’s not about being skinny or stick thin like runway models. Good health is simply about being the proper weight for your body type and height so that you don’t put unjust pressure on your heart, thus affecting your health. Try to have a balanced diet, stay active, and put effort into your appearance, (your hair, your makeup, your clothes). There’s no way around it not for you, not for me, it takes effort to maintain your appearance.
The creator of the universe made you and deems you as beautiful. So when insecurities rise up in your mind about your outer appearance you can meditate on Proverbs 3:15, God says “you are more precious than rubies and all the things that he desires can not compare to her.” Physical intimacy for a wife starts in her mind. A wife generally connects with her husband through talking. A husband connects with his wife through physical intimacy. However, Satan does not want you to draw closer to your husband. If the enemy can get the two of you to have very little sex or stop you from having sex, or convince you that you despise having sex with your husband, then the enemy has a foothold in your marriage. Mark 10:9, says, “What God has joined together let no one separate.” You have to fight for your marriage!
Tips to Plan and Protect your Relationship from the enemy
♥ Be intentional about defeating the enemy with regard to this aspect of marriage.
♥ Be a wife who has embraced what God has ordained, specifically for marriage rather than a wife that rejects it, avoids it or becomes complacent about it.
♥ Plan your times of intimacy with your husband so that you’re not exhausted at the end of the day. Put the kids to bed earlier. Don’t over commit yourself to outside activities. Take a nap if need be.
♥ Be a wife that places a higher importance upon her marriage, rather than motherhood, a career, outside activities, ministry etc…
♥ Be a wife who looks forward to being intimate with her husband.
♥ Be a wife who actively pursues her husband
In Honor of Black History Month, we honor Dr. James McCune Smith. He was the first African American to hold a university degree in medicine. He was a tireless physician, writer, leader in the abolition movement. He was a community organizer involved in African American education, orphanages, and healthcare. He attended first the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill. He chose to leave the United States at age 22 when no American University would offer him, a free person of color, a place to pursue higher studies. He set sail for Glasgow Scotland and acquired a University education in Scotland and France.